Am I Traveling, Am I Not (A Follow-Up)

I have been on an emotional roller coaster since my post last week and woke up this morning thinking I should share with you where I'm heading.  Thank you for the amazing advice and concern and encouragement I received from several of you!  That's absolutely the best part about writing and putting myself out there.

The big picture answer from my little breakdown is that I am definitely dealing with a life issue.  The struggle between dreams and reality isn't solved overnight and doesn't have a 1-2-3-step process to resolution.  What does that mean?  I'm not going to simply wake up one day having dropped the need to travel and explore and be free from routine.  I can wake up each day recognizing that not every year is going to be a big travel year.  This year, for starters, is not going to find me cavorting overseas and now that I've thought about that clearly, I've accepted it completely.

Even in my muddling last week, I never once considered that I was now trapped in my house, in my yard, in my little community.  Utah provides an incredible opportunity for so many different types of exploring in a very short distance and with summer coming my mind is already packed full of weekend excursions and activities.  That will never change in me, and is just as valid an opportunity to teach my kids about environments different than their own as any other place I could take them in the world.

There is a truth to work through and accept that my freedom to wander the world freely has dwindled and changed.  Yet, right now as I watch my kids squeal while blowing soap bubbles in their breakfast cups it doesn't seem daunting or life-sucking.  My passport application is in the mail and I can keep dreaming.  I never again want logistical details to be what keeps me from dreaming.  But for today I think I'll tackle the housecleaning and the parenting and be excited when my husband gets home.  I'm going to enjoy my family right here where life finds me.

(As part of my "therapy" I promise this summer I'll share some of my adventures with you,

 including my upcoming trip to flea markets of the Heartland,

 and playing tourist with my sister in Southern Utah's national park playland)