Reality

My husband is in California today.  He had to get up at 4AM, wait at work for his unreliable boss to show up and take him to the airport, and get on a plane to fly to Sacramento.  He's doing 2 hours worth of work there and then driving a box truck (think Uhaul) across Nevada and arriving back home sometime tomorrow.  Oh, and did I mention that he just sent me photos of himself sitting in the co-pilot's chair in the cockpit of the jet he flew on?  I have no idea what that was all about but the grin on his face tells me that something extraordinary happened to him this morning.

What was I doing when the photo arrived?  Reprimanding my toddler for wiping his bum without toilet paper.  Losing the argument that he needed to use HOT water to wash his hands.  Insisting that he go get clean underwear instead of running around the house naked.  And hearing him tell me after he's run on the carpet that he's found poo on his feet, too.

So, what was my initial reaction to my husband's moment of joy digitally captured and sent to me over the airwaves?  Hatred and disgust, honestly.  Completely gone was the sympathy I'd felt when he'd exhaustedly crawled out of bed in the dark.  The gentle prayer I'd offered up that he would be safe and alert on his drive back our way completely buried.  Also forgotten were the laughs I'd had with my two boys just hours earlier as they piled on top of me in bed, and any thought of encouraging words or shared enthusiasm.

That's how my days tend to be.  I know my husband words hard at a job he doesn't always like.  But because he gets to leave the house, and the kids, I tell myself his life is easy.  When he gets home at night I continue on with cooking dinner or finishing the laundry, but check out from anymore taking care of the kids.  Dad's home, Dad's turn.  It seems like it's working because he loves playing with his boys more than anything on the planet, but it's probably only working because I give him no other choice.

Do you find yourself having the same thoughts or reactions with people and events in your life?  What helps you throughout the day to focus on the beautiful and fun things that are happening instead of getting buried in individual nasty moments?

How do you show your spouse/family/friends that you appreciate the sacrifices they've made for you?  And what gives you balance throughout your day?