Figuring It Out

I was really good at firing people.  Don't do the job right and get sent packing.  A few people I let go had managed to find my emotional side and they might have seen me a little more generous in the time allowed to get out, but they still had to go.  My world is completely black and white.  There are rules, expectations, and consequences or rewards for work done or not done.  It's as simple as that.

My working years were great because I was the person in control.  I was good at what I did and received the feedback satisfactory to go along with it.  Since leaving the workplace and starting a family I have been in a constant daily struggle.  Today it has finally occurred to me that this is the reason why.

Kids (and husbands, too, I suppose) do not live in a black and white world.  They don't receive instructions one time and follow them to the letter.  They don't respond well to constructive criticism, if they respond at all.  I can't fill my filing cabinet with their performance reviews and letters of recommendation.  Nobody is punching a time clock with the outlook of freedom at the end of an eight hour day. And I can't print a paycheck for last days work and send them on their way.

My kids are here to stay and it's my job now to fit into their colorful world.  I need to let them encourage me. Rather then looking for an opportunity to get rid of me, they greet me each morning with a giggle and a smile.  In their world there's no such thing as "hurry."  Instead of typing memos and conducting meetings, they beg me to plop down and play...all day...that's it mom...let's just play...

Hopefully I'll figure it out before they can me.