What are your values and top life priorities?

A professor once asked the students of her marriage preparation course, "What are the most important values you are looking for in a spouse?" The lists were long: sense of humour, intelligence, faith, steady job, good family, similar interests, education, sense of adventure, loyalty, stability... The professor then asked, "What one of those values is your top priority?" Without much pause, students responded: sense of humour, intelligence, faith, steady job, good family, similar interests, education, sense of adventure, loyalty, stability... They, like most of modern society, wanted it all. *

We are fortunate to live in an age when any dream can be realized or obtained. What a marvelous thing! We should never take it for granted; we should also never let it cloud our vision. The fact of the matter is, "having it all" only comes after we've obtained important things individually. Very few people win the lottery and see all of their dreams fulfilled in one lump sum. We have to prioritize or instead of achieving all our goals we'll find ourselves many years down the road living with none of them. Let's use relationships as an example. Every one of the attributes listed above is noble and desirable. It is natural to judge new acquaintances in accordance with the characteristics we value. The key is not letting the entire list keep us from getting to know a person better. We would remain friendless and alone for eternity. Allowing ourselves to be pulled towards what is good enables us to explore what more could be good. It is here, unfortunately, where we begin to see another sort of problem. Instead of negating all people because they don't match every standard, some people throw common sense out the window and choose instead to naively accept all people. In the end, neither scenario is going to bring us closer to achieving our goals. I think every person can benefit from setting down to re-evaluate the areas of life where they've had goals and dreams-work, community involvement, diet, etc. Think back to a time when these ideas were new. What made you smile and feel happy? What ideas did you have about where life was heading? What was most important and have you held onto that as you've moved forward towards achieving your goals? If not, there is still time to pause and reconsider how to redirection your life so that those important attributes surround you. And, then, here's the kicker: What were your dealbreakers? What were the things that you absolutely would not accept? If you ever find yourself questioning why life has turned out so differently than you'd imagined or if there is an aspect of life that continually (or confusedly) makes you unhappy, take a moment to also reconsider these things. We are blessed to live in a time where we can achieve every single thing our hearts and minds set out to do. Let us work towards those goals by making sure we stand steadfast on the individual attributes that will make us the person we want to be. (*Thank you to Jacque DeGaston for relating this story)

Am I Smarter Than 5th Grade Me?

I recently let my husband in on one of my most embarassing school secrets...I used to ask my elementary teachers for the extra copies of our handouts so I could take them home and play school in my bedroom. By the end of my grade school days I had amassed a carefully organized, waist-high pile of purple mimeographed math timetables, social studies worksheets, science and reading assignments. I loved school. Well, the learning part of it. I could fill volumes on why the social aspect of public education was not for me, but it was exciting to sit at my desk with my #2 pencil and make something better of myself. I'm pretty sure I wasn't espousing that exact thought as I sat next to the boy on my right incessantly eating carrot sticks or the girl on my left sticking straightpins through her skin, but school was always a great intellectual outlet for me. 5th grade was particularly enthralling. I wrote my first report, on the state of Washington, and was proud that it was the longest report in the class. I looked forward to Fridays when we read Weekly Reader (I learned that one day telephones would have video cameras in them) and I would get all the questions right. Most memorable activity, though, are the scores of books I read and reports I wrote. There were always books in our home. We'd get boxes of them for a quarter at garage sales and carefully stack them on the bookshelf in our upstairs hallway. I organized them alphabetically for a CampFire project and they numbered nearly 200. It was from these that my library of book reports evolved. In fifth grade we had a tri-fold book report form that asked for generic information (title, author, genre) on either outside fold. The inner fold was where I found the gold-a completely blank white space waiting for my humble review. I would write until that page was full and then flip the whole form over and continue writing until not an inch of that paper was bare. I'd fold it up, take it to the teacher, and hurriedly begin the process over again. I don't know how many book reports I turned in during my fifth grade year. I do know I kept them all and will one day find them neatly filed in a folder waiting to be rediscovered. I never lost that unbridled love for learning. For this I am grateful. I've recently found myself once again feverishly looking for great reads. With a new baby and my role in life being redefined, I've found my ability to appreciate a good story invaluable-a rope out into the world I once knew. That's why I've included a list of recently read books on my blog. Take a look at the titles. Some of them were so enrapturing I couldn't put them down; others I unabashedly skimmed over hundreds of pages in order to end the dreadfulness as painlessly as possible. I'd love to know what you think is out there worth reading. And, of course, I'm still ready and willing to give my humble version of a golden book review.