Learning From Memory

Le Havre, France.  Not a town most people would know or remember.  Probably it's only claim to fame is being a logistically decent place for cruise ships to stop and send their passengers off for day tours of Omaha Beach and other noteworthy WWII sites.  Give me a few paragraphs, though, to convince you of it's redeeming property.

Travel back in time with me to April 2008.  My husband Ben and I, with our 1-yr-old son Beck, set off on a celebratory tour of the continent of Europe.  Ben had finally finished his bachelor's degree so we packed our bags, got on a plane, and flew away!  Not until we were halfway across the Atlantic Ocean did we realize we'd left behind an important piece of equipment.

This is Beck:

No, he isn't what we left behind. But, at age one, you can imagine that Beck was an incredibly mobile child-not yet walking, but more than willing to get himself somewhere in a high-speed crawl.  Even at his best, however, we could hardly expect him to make do on his own for 6 weeks of budget traveling.

Figured out what the missing equipment was yet?  We'd left our backpack carrier in the car at home.  All of a sudden the idea of carrying a squirming, wiggly baby in our arms for hours and hours and days and days seemed daunting.  It was the first time we'd considered that traveling with a child might not be fun.

Enter Le Havre.  We happened to be there at the beginning of our journey and an angel of a tourism official directed us to a second-hand store where we might be able to find redemption.  She seemed ashamed not to be able to send us to a fancy department store.  We gave prayers of gratitude that our first unexpected purchase with euros might not break the bank.

This is the store:

Neither Ben or I speak French and the shopkeeper of this adorable store knew very little English.  After a lot of pointing at Beck and then at our backs, we found ourselves following this nice lady out of her store and up three flights of stairs next door.  She unlocked a door and offered up her entire store room for us to find what we were looking for.  We were inundated with choices and she let us try on everyone.  Grateful and overwhelmed we finally settled on the pack we liked and hoped we had enough money in our pockets.  Truth is, to this day I don't know how much we paid for that backpack carrier.  What I do know is that it was worth it's weight in gold!

This is the pack: 

Honestly, it was perfect!  Beck slept in it, ate in it, laughed in it, played in it.  He rode on our backs through  eight countries.  It was incredibly comfortable and I carried him on my back for six of the seven miles on the Cinque Terre Trail in Italy.  That accomplishment is still a feather in my cap!  We have searched high and low and haven't found this exact backpack anywhere.  They don't exist.  But we have one.  It's our little miracle.

Why, you're asking, am I taking you on this trip down memory lane?  I mentioned in my New Year's post and also my Wandering Still post that my goal for a year from now is to be traveling and exploring exotic locations.  Ben and I have finally talked it out sensibly and we are really going to make it happen!  We have debts to pay before we can start the planning, but knowing that he knows how important is to me has given me the hope I needed to start openly dreaming.  

These are the lessons: 

     ~We've done it before.  Let people be confused and think we're being irrational.  Kids travel and we wouldn't think of leaving them home.

    ~Things will most certainly not go completely as planned.  We'll forget things and there may be setbacks and delays.  That makes journeying all the more exhilarating.

    ~I love my family.  I easily get bogged down in my day-to-day.  Life doesn't magically become perfect when I pack my bags and sail away.  My husband and two cute boys are going to be there along the way.  If I can learn to make the most of the time I have here with them, they'll make sure we live life to the fullest when they're out there (wherever there may be) with me. And that is all I'm hoping for.

And lastly:

    ~Don't leave the backpack carrier in the car at home!

In My Heart On Thursday-

"Dante was so wrong.  At the lowest point, at the nadir of the ninth circle of hell, Satan will be sharing eternally cold space with treasonous brownnosers who abandon their principles and do what is wrong for the sake of a good grade, or applause.  And these brownnosers will have to lick Satan's razor-studded butt forever and ever, with their tongues."

-Carlos Eire,  Waiting For Snow In Havana, p. 232

Where True Friends Are

As my Google Friend Connect following inches closer to that magic number of 100, I'm having a number of "new blogger" thoughts.  But, the thing is, I'm not really a new blogger.  I wrote my first entry for Wandering Still in 2007.  And about that same time I started my family's blog as well.

Gaining a "following" on this blog has been both exciting, motivating, and discouraging.  At first I was excited that there were people on the planet who wanted to read what I had to say.  And not only read it, but relate to it and respond back in some way.  The responses back were particularly motivating.  If there are people interested in what I have to say, then I'll give them more interesting things to read.  I see how that cycle works...that makes writing great for everyone.

The discouragement has come over the past few weeks as I've deleted scores of comments shamelessly advertising for other people's blogs.  I honestly could care less if you have hours everyday to scour bloghops and  directories looking for innocent bloggers who haven't religiously decided to follow your giveaways and freebies.  I have a life that doesn't involve always being attached to my computer, and I'm not going to follow you unless I want what you have to say to come across in my Google Reader and somehow enlighten my day.

Mean?  That's my truth.  And I'm comfortable saying it because I don't know most of you.  I know not every single thing I write is going to strike a chord in my readers.  On those days, I hope you make a promise to come back and see what I have to say the next time.  And let me know-even if you don't like it!

Where am I not comfortable expressing these feelings so clearly?  On my family blog.  If you were to hop over there right now you'd see my GFC counter has "0" connections.  Now, I have a handful of relatives that subscribe through a reader or an email subscription and I love them for that!  The trouble comes in the truth that that handful of people in my life are the extent of all the people I know who have one care to keep up with what's going on in the life of my kids or our family.

As I've started writing more frequently and perusing the wealth of blogs out there, I see that my family blog could easily do well if I decided to make it public.  I've resisted doing that for the sake of privacy and also to save my dignity...I feel like I'd end up making it public in a moment of desperation for SOMEONE to pay attention to me.  Obviously my husband and kids and myself don't need approval or high-fives for everything we do and everywhere we go.  But, just as when I write on this blog solely for the purpose of interacting with other people's thoughts and ideas, it'd be nice if our personal experiences were able to motivate or interest the people with which we share a personal connection.

So what is the answer?  Both in general writing blogs and in personal blogs?  How do you manage your friend connections?  What advice do you have for building up a committed and interested following?  And what made you decide to or not to publicly share your personal family blogs for all the world to see?  I'm just wondering.

In My Heart On Thursday

"One of our sons was spending a few days incarcerated in a local facility to 'pay his debt to society.'  As I looked at his sorrowful countenance behind that glass wall, my heart nearly broken, I only wished I had held and rocked that baby boy.  I couldn't, as hard as I tried, think of a specific time when I had held him on my lap and kissed his head, face, and ears and held him close to my heart.

I had washed that boy, scolded him for misdeeds, sent him to school, even taken pictures of him, but I couldn't remember putting my lips next to his ear and whispering tender, loving, happy words that might have echoed in his memory when he needed them.  When my arms couldn't get to him through that terrible glass barrier, I wanted to remember how it felt to hold him and I wanted him to remember how it felt to be held and loved by his mother.

So, if I could go back, I would hold and rock and sing and whisper love to my child every single day."

                                                                      -Excerpt from Delta, Utah, Ensign Magazine, July 1996

My $100 Dream

I am a thrift store shopper.  And if not a thrift store shopper, then definitely a clearance rack shopper. In Iowa my secondhand store of choice was Goodwill, preferably the Euclid store (or West Des Moines, but it had to be a special treat to make it all the way out there).  In Alaska the goods were at Value Village.  Quality was lacking at Value Village, but when you're thousands of miles from the next thrift store, you take what you can find.  Here in Utah, mecca for used-clothes hounds is Deseret Industries (DI).

Deseret Industries operates along the same lines as Goodwill, I think, offering employment and training services, affordable items for purchase, and a place for the community to donate their time and no-longer-needed belongings.  I support everything DI stands for, but what is the real reason I'm telling you all this?  I have a secret dream...

I want $100 and an entire day alone to DI-hop.  Within 45 minutes driving distance I have access to 10 fabulous stores.  By far my favorites are the Sugarhouse and the American Fork stores.  Sugarhouse always has unique items and American Fork has some tall, presumably wealthy people donating brand new stuff sized perfectly for me.  Whenever this dream shopping spree takes place, I'll start farthest north in downtown Salt Lake City.  That way, if I run out of time or money, I can skip the Provo store and know nothing is there waiting for me.  In the middle of BYU married-housing, that store gets the dregs people have been passing down for generations and should have sent to the trash rather than a merchandising establishment.

Why Deseret Industries you're thinking.  Why not dream and save up for a trip to the mall, or even bigger, to New York City?  Well, first, reality is that holding 100 free dollars in my hand is a pipe dream.  When that great party day arrives, I need to get the most bang for my buck.  I can walk out of the mall with 2-3 things or out of DI with 12-15 things.  Beyond the limitation of money, though, I see cute things peeking out at me every single time I go to DI.  Usually I'm there shopping for my kids or trying to find that hidden gem out in the yard (for my local readers, do you know about the yard?  I was sick to my stomach when I realized I'd been missing out for years and years).  If I do look through the racks for me, a skirt or shirt is guaranteed to fall in love with me, and once in love I have to take it home.  I'll hide it in the laundry basket until it's cleaned and then slip it in my closet pretending it's been there all along.  My husband laughs at me.  He's pretty sure my $3.00 discovery is not going to drain the coffers.

I'm sure a few of you are appalled by now.  It may not seem I have very classy or lofty goals. If that's what you're looking for, hop over to my SIL's blog Timeless.  Emulating and learning from Aubrey Hepburn, her shopping and fashion knowledge is in a world all her own.  As for me, I've got $20 in the bank.  One day that will grow and you'll find me grinning like a kid in a candy store.  You can find me buried in the racks of everyone else's hand-me-downs.

Photo credit: www.waymarking.com

In My Heart On Thursday

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs.  Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive."
                                                                            -Gil Bailie, as quoted in Wild At Heart by John Eldredge

Wandering Still? What It Means To Me

My Past
Small town Iowa girls don't often take far trips from home.  From birth to age 17 the longest trip I had taken was a three-hour road trip to my uncle's house in Weeping Water, Nebraska.  Then my mom blew everything out of the water.  Attempting to get me away from an abusive high-school boyfriend, she loaded me on a plane and sent me 8 flight hours away to the European continent.

Now, don't go thinking this was normal for my family.  We grew up on hand-me-down clothes and Hamburger Helper with twice the noodles and half the meat.  Fate just happened to intervene that year and I became the first student  hosted by our local Lions Club in a Youth Camp and Exchange Program. Traveling to Brussels with 25 Iowa teenagers and then embarking on a 6-week solo adventure with host families in the Netherlands was the most frightening enterprise imaginable.

I came home at the end of that summer an altogether different girl (yes, I did get rid of the loser of a boyfriend soon after).  Wanderlust has been a part of me ever since.  It prompted me to study Hospitality Management and released me from the Midwest to see the world.  Working seasonal hotel jobs, I lived on Cape Cod in Massachusetts and all over the state of Alaska.  Because they were seasonal jobs, and in the tourism industry, I was also afforded months of open-ended travel.  My mid-twenties found me gallivanting around the globe and culminated in a 4-month backpacking/cruising trip that hopped from the Caribbean to western Mexico, from southeast Asia to Australia and New Zealand.  Those are the days that spoiled me!

My Present
I'm married to a native Utahn and that has been my dwelling for the past 7 years.  Within 9 months of moving here I had experienced more of what this diverse state has to offer than a friend who'd been going to school here more than 3 years.  As a married couple, and now as a family with two young boys, we've made it a priority to continue getting out to see what there is to see.

People often give us long sideways glances after hearing of the next trip we're planning or reading about our latest exploits on our family blog, It's What We Do.  What they usually fail to understand is that while they're spending their free money on clothes, eating out, and movies, we're bundling ours together and escaping the humdrum of our every day lives.  The ultimate example of these glances, and our own sacrifices, was a 6-week trip to Europe in celebration of my husband's college graduation and our son's 1st birthday.  More than anything, it proved to me that I was still me and the doors of the world hadn't closed when I said, "I do."

My Future
A day does not go by without me gazing out my window wondering where else there is to be.  Traveling is now inherently in me.  I used to passionately proclaim that, "You don't have to settle down until your kids are in school!"  I want my family to share the world with me.  Some argue that toddlers and infants are too little to even know, that world travel is wasted until they're old enough to read the places they are going.  I don't agree.  My 3-year-old son Beck is a map-lover!  He will stop every 10 steps, lay down his map, and recalculate which way we should be heading.  I want him and his baby brother Peyton to start out right from the beginning with a love and appreciation for exploring.

Peyton will turn 1 in March and I want more than anything to be somewhere exotic on his birthday.  Not to be snobby, but for him to look back in 20 years and know that that is who we were.  Beck starts school in less than 2 years.  I want more than anything not to put him on the bus for his first day of kindergarten with the regret that we never got him out of here.

Ben and I are working on a goal.  By January 1, 2012, we are going to be out of here.  Maybe we won't be continent-hopping like I'd once dreamed, but we will be packed and jet-setting to somewhere more exotic than Lindon, Utah.  And, then, who knows...kids can do complete K-12 programs online now...the world doesn't have to settle in on me!

This Is The Way To Start the New Year!

I was a good girl yesterday and refrained from turning on my computer.  That's a huge thing for me.  What a treat, then, to log on this morning and see that Shah at Words In Sync has given me my first Stylish Blogger Award!

To accept the award I have to, first, tell you 7 things about myself and then, second, pass the award along to 15(ish) blogs I've fallen in love with recently.  Here goes:

1. I don't have favorite anythings.  Not colors, books, movies.  If I've ever told you what my favorite something is, I made it up right there on the spot.

2.  Same for fantasies.

3.  I loved Thai food before it was trendy and now love cooking it at home.

4.  I've ridden bareback on an elephant's head.  Feeling elephant ears curl around your legs is unnerving.

5.  Working seasonal hospitality jobs ruined me for the SAHM life.  There's not a day I don't want to be on my way to a new exotic destination.

6. I've cross-stitched Christmas stockings for 6 of my nieces and nephews, am working on 3 this year, and my own kids' stockings came from the dollar store.

7. For my birthday I filled my kitchen window with houseplants and through some birthday miracle I haven't killed them yet!

And now, I'm excited to pass The Stylish Blogger Award onto:

Timeless  http://timelessexclusive.blogspot.com/


Becoming LDS  http://becominglds.blogspot.com/

Lunch Box Lowdown  http://lunchboxlowdown.blogspot.com/

Old School-Self Reliance 101  http://www.mynewoldschool.com/

Pedaling Fast & Trying To Keep Up  http://pedalingfast.blogspot.com/

Roots of Simplicity  http://roots-of-simplicity.blogspot.com/

Shannon Makes Stuff  http://shannonmakesstuff.blogspot.com/

Skitt A Skatt  http://skittaskattfurniture.blogspot.com/

Suerte Mom  http://www.suertemom.com/

To Europe With Kids  http://www.toeuropewithkids.com/

Writing The Waves of Motherhood  http://writingthewavesmama.blogspot.com/

Blackpurl's Knitpickings   http://blackpurlsknitpickings.blogspot.com/

Secrets of Mom  http://secretsofmom.blogspot.com/

Go check them out!

A Year of Reading 2010

It seems like it was a really busy year without a lot of time for reading  Looking back, though,  I think the problem is I read stellar stories right at the beginning and descended down a road of none-too-inspiring tales from there.

I switched this year to recording all my books on Goodreads (username Wanderingstill).  The list below is in the order I read them, with one exception.  This year found me for the first time in my life quitting a book.  I've always been a die-hard believer in finishing a story in hopes that it will get better.  I couldn't do it this year and I've listed those at the bottom.

Have you read these and want to share your review? I'd love to hear it!  Or leave me a recommendation on your "must-reads".  And if you're looking for something different than what I have here, be sure to check out my lists from 2008 and 2009. Or check out the book challenges I'm participating in for 2011: Take A Chance Challenge at Life with Books and Outdo Yourself at The Book Vixen.

1. Miss Pettigrew Lives For a Day (Watson)-Fun escape story set in 1930's high-class England.  An old biddy experiencing new life and fate changing her misfortunes.  Left me feeling happy.
2. The One Hundred (Garcia)-Great fashion suggestions and direction. Good to see that trendy "Utah dress" isn't all there is to wear.
3. Out Stealing Horses(Petterson)-Norwegian author, simplicity of writing is beautiful and full of feeling. Great reflection on relationships. "You decide how much it hurts."
4. Orrin Porter Rockwell(Schindler)-I appreciated the grittier view of early Salt Lake City, but the author openly admits his sources were pieced together liberally with what was available.  Church history in opening chapters is not very accurate and their is a lot of speculation in the narrative.
5. Triangle: The Fire That Changed America(von Drehle)-NYFD deserves their century-old reputation.  The chapters on the fire were captivating and on unions/social welfare were informative. 
6. The Outlaw Trail(Kelly)-A LOT of people to keep straight.  I started skimming over the names and fell in love with the wild west tales.  Intrigued at their resourcefulness in the Utah deserts and that a lot of outlaws later became the law.
7. The Worst Hard Time(Egan)-I thought I knew about the Dust Bowl, but I had no idea!  Couldn't keep my mind on the fact it was the 1930's-so primitive and it wasn't that long ago! Great Read!
8. The Twins(de Loo)-FANTASTIC! Translated from the original Dutch. A fresh perspective on WWII that hasn't been done to death.  The balance of the two character's seems off for awhile, but it all comes together beautifully.
9. The Relationship of Mormonism & Freemasonry(Ivins)-Not a good comparison of the two, but succinct info on the church and ancient American traditions from a general authority.  No interesting information on the actual controversy at the time it was written.
10. Breaking Free(Lo-Johannsen)-Classic Swedish story with no progress and no climax.  Last chapters had hope but then fizzled out.  Should be read as history not as a story.
11. 1-2-3 Magic(Phelan)-A discipline program that explains what you're doing when you're counting.  Singles out parent emotion as a huge stumbling block.  The positive motivations were a lot to digest.
12. The Absolutely True Diary of a Part Time Indian(Sherman)-Innocent.  Subject matters I wouldn't want my teenager to read, but touching as it comes together at the end.
13. Lean Mommy(Druxman)-Not the least bit motivating
14. Toilet Training in Less Than A Day(Azrin/Foxx)-Thorough, but this was not the system for me.
15. Mommy I Have To Go Potty(Faull)-Good information.  Not as a mean method of training.
16. A Confederacy of Dunces(Kennedy Toole)-The strangest story! Used audio book and still exclaiming, "Whoa, hey!"
17. Heaven on Earth(Oppenheimer)-Too focused on nature/earth for me, but very creative ideas for kids.  Especially loved the ideas for creating backyard fantasy lands.
18. The Great Gatsby(Fitzgerald)-Enjoyed the writing style. Dark but not too dark.
19. The History of Love(Krauss)-Beautiful!
20. Liars and Saints(Meloy)-Think about the story of your family-not the public story, but the story nobody wants to tell. Then read this book.  Family stories should be told the way this story was told.
21. Sway(Brafman)-Real life examples of irrational behavior. No idea how to apply it in real life.
22. The Selected Works of T.S. Spivet(Larsen)-Has a major believability problem but I kept turning the pages.  Author uses a child's true vulnerability to bring it home.
23. Yup. Nope. Maybe.(James/Thomas)-Read it as a funny & humble relationship book written with a spiritual perspective.  The "golden nugget" is a study guide at the end. Read the last question first.
24. The Red Pony(Steinbeck)-Great guy book.  I'm not a short-story reader and wanted the stories to connect together.  Didn't understand why he completely changed topics in the last story, either.
25. Crossing to Safety(Stegner)-Spoke to many different pieces inside me.  Conflicting pieces.  I needed it.  And I want to live in the cover.
26. A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Future(Fox)-Lacks continuity but includes humble down-to-earth observations from his life.
27. Me Talk Pretty One Day(Sedaris)-Can't stand this author or his subject matter.
28. Adventuring with Children(Jeffrey)-
29. The Creative Family(Blake Soule)-Really cute natural craft ideas for kids.
30. Kabul Beauty School(Rodriguez)-The idea of saving the world through beauty school seems shallow, but one lady took what she knew how to do to a scary part of the world hoping she could make life better for women-and it's working!  Hope she's still finding success.
31. The Master and Margarita(Bulgakov)-Well-written but undeniably evil.  Couldn't read it on Sunday or when my husband was away.  1st half is psychological.  2nd half less so, hence, not quite as unnerving.
32. An Ordered Love(Kern)-Proof that dissertations are not meant to be read.  Didn't agree with author's LDS perspective so read the rest with a grain of salt.   I would never recommend this book.
33. The Christmas List(Evans)-A feel-good Christmas read.  Yes, I cried at the end.
34. The Oxford Dictionary of Nursery Rhymes(Opie)-Hadn't heard most rhymes included. Boring.
35. Wild at Heart(Eldredge)-Just attacks fathers and tells men they're damaged. Very different religious opinions than my own.
36. The Christmas Box(Evans)-Undeveloped.  For a light read, The Christmas List is much better.


The ones I didn't finish:
1. Too Much Happiness(Munro)-These are disturbed and depressing short stories.
2. How the Soldier Repairs the Gramophone(Stanisic)-Brilliant first chapter and then gets so murky and muddled I had no idea what was going on.  Do you know what was going on?
3. Do Travel Writers Go To Hell?(Kohnstamm)-My biggest letdown.  Thick-laden with sex and swearing and I had to stop reading.  Really glad I didn't pay money for this one.


And just for fun, my favorite children's book this year:

The illustrations remind me of the Montmartre neighborhood in Paris.

Whimsical and breathtaking.

In My Heart On Thursday

"If you live up to your privileges the angels cannot be restricted from being your associates."   -Joseph Smith, Jr

Hoping that 2011 finds you being the best that you can be!

Obligatory New Year's Blah-Blah-Blah

A few weeks ago I read an article explaining that time does not stop or change at the New Year, only humans do.  At the time I thought to myself, "Who cares?  Resolving to make myself a better person isn't a bad thing."  Now, though, I've lived through another New Year's and I'm understanding more clearly what the article's writer had been imbibing.

The truth is, I am not a better person than I was three days ago and I don't feel the motivation or desire to be so.  This New Year's Eve found me more mad at the world than I can remember ever being and that mood hasn't left me.  I know we're individually responsible for making our own happiness, but I haven't made it work before and the dead cold dark of January isn't really the time I see myself finding motivation to make this time successful.  So, with an apology to my husband and my kids who take the brunt of my self-imposed misery, let me say that one day I will try again to quit making your life miserable.

In the meantime, here are a few of the activities I'm looking forward to planning, experiencing, and writing about in 2011.

1.  A year of Thai food cooking.
2.  List and review of books I read in 2010
3.  Finding a way to make sure 2012 finds us somewhere more exotic than we are now.
4.  Rediscovering the feeling of true faith.

Best wishes to you if you're hyped up for a finger-tingling year.  Hopefully I'll find you there in a little while!