Thankful Thirty #27

It was not a good day.  I have been trying to find some bright crevice in my mind with something to be grateful, but I just keep coming back to it not being a good day.  That has me marveling that I've actually found something to be grateful for for the last 26 days.  Of course we always have blessings for which we give thanks, but it's not second-nature for me to recognize and them.  This month of writing has been good for me.

With only a few days left in November, don't forget to get your entry in for the Trappistine Creamy Caramel Monastery Candy.  It just takes one comment on one post, and your chances are really good! No matter who, or where, you are, I want to be able to give it to you!

I guess I've come up with something to think about today...

I'm grateful for the power of writing

 to bring shine back into an otherwise dismal day.

I Wandered Off, but I'm Wandering Still...

If you were hanging out with me a year ago, you might remember that I was walking around with a pretty dismal view of the New Year.  In the end, however, 2011 turned out to be a pretty great year.  I had the privilege of teaching some extremely powerful Relief Society lessons where the class taught me more than I possibly could have given to them.    I got to go on a shopping spree.    I traveled with my family to the Grand Canyon, San Diego, all over New Mexico, and a gigantic swap meet in the Midwest.  And I finally found a way to love my hair.  Going into 2012 I have a thousand reasons to be happy and  grateful.

As I think about what I want to accomplish in the coming year, the word that keeps coming to mind is "responsibility."  Nearly every area of my life could be marked with bright red "LAZY" stamp across the top of it.  In cultivating that laziness, I've neglected a lot of people and a lot of opportunities.  It's time for me to get busy being the person I'm supposed to be.

My new resolve breaks down into five basic categories:

~Making my physical world better (one little step, or maybe two)

~Fixing the damage caused by considering myself a stay-at-home mom instead of a homemaker

~Testing my grit as a homeschooling parent before I make a decision I hate

~Realistically making our extended travel plans

~Blogging the way I'm supposed to be.

I'll write about each of those in the coming weeks.  About the blogging, however, I want to apologize now for letting myself get carried away.  The past year on this blog has been so fun, but the past few months, especially, have been unfulfilling. I started this blog as an outlet for thoughts that were important to me.  When people ask what I write about, I tell them, "a little bit faith, a little bit life, a little bit traveling."  Those are the things that are important to me.  I never wanted Wandering Still to be money-making or popularity inducing.  I just wanted to share my thoughts with the people who wanted to listen.  Thank you to those of you who've wandered off with me.  But rest assured, 

2012 is going to find me getting back to "ME."  

I hope you'll join me on the journey.

Uniquely December: Letter-Writing Day

A few weeks back we had a lesson at church focused on taking care of ourselves as women.  One of the challenges we were given was to go home and write a letter.  Not an email, or a text, or a facebook comment...a genuine later.  The promise was made that taking the time to sit down, form our thoughts, and then express them would bring peace in the midst of our harried every day lives.  And not just our lives, but also the lives of the people to whom we're writing.

Letters are "the keepers."  Don't we all have a box or a file somewhere holding treasured salutations?  Maybe tucked inside a birthday card or folded neatly inside a scented envelope?  We don't read them everyday, but when we come across them our hearts are immediately carried back to the emotions of the day we received it.  A hand-written letter guarantees to bring a smile to mind over and over again.

I had three people come immediately to mind after receiving my letter-writing challenge.  One a friend I've been out of contact with for years but who just reached a goal she'd set way back then.  One a sister-in-law I admire for the life she's lived and the choices she's made.  And one my grandmother.

In my lifetime my grandmother's letters have been a precious gift.  They don't come often.  The thought comes to mind to write her only about once a year, but I always know I'll hear receive a message in return.  Her tiny cramped scrawl is pretty hard to read, but the squinting and transcribing is always worth the work.  Especially because my grandma is of the generation that believes nothing that happened in her life is important enough for people to want to know.  The letters she sends with brief accounting of how she passes her days will add immense depth to the history I'll piece together and share with the generations of my family.

I'm ashamed to admit I've only written one of my three letters, and that envelope is still waiting on my kitchen counter to be mailed.  I'm grateful for the reminder today to put my pen to paper and send a short little ray of happiness to the people in my life.

Can I pass the challenge along to you? 

 Sit down and write a letter to someone you know.  

See if it doesn't make you both feel better!

A Little Self-Promotion...

...a little out of the norm for me, but I'm going to try it...

I'm being featured today at Who's Your Editor!

AubrieAnne at Who's Your Editor started a Weekend Wonders feature a few weeks ago and it's my turn.  Head over to find out a few random and few deeper things about me, and then take a look around.  She's got a great literature/reading/grammar blog.  I love it!

Also, don't forget you can now get Wandering Still updates on Facebook and Twitter. Then, check out my blogging grant application on Mom Central.  You can vote every day and I'd love the support!

And finally, 

THANK YOU

for the inspiration and motivation I receive from each of you each day!

Where True Friends Are

As my Google Friend Connect following inches closer to that magic number of 100, I'm having a number of "new blogger" thoughts.  But, the thing is, I'm not really a new blogger.  I wrote my first entry for Wandering Still in 2007.  And about that same time I started my family's blog as well.

Gaining a "following" on this blog has been both exciting, motivating, and discouraging.  At first I was excited that there were people on the planet who wanted to read what I had to say.  And not only read it, but relate to it and respond back in some way.  The responses back were particularly motivating.  If there are people interested in what I have to say, then I'll give them more interesting things to read.  I see how that cycle works...that makes writing great for everyone.

The discouragement has come over the past few weeks as I've deleted scores of comments shamelessly advertising for other people's blogs.  I honestly could care less if you have hours everyday to scour bloghops and  directories looking for innocent bloggers who haven't religiously decided to follow your giveaways and freebies.  I have a life that doesn't involve always being attached to my computer, and I'm not going to follow you unless I want what you have to say to come across in my Google Reader and somehow enlighten my day.

Mean?  That's my truth.  And I'm comfortable saying it because I don't know most of you.  I know not every single thing I write is going to strike a chord in my readers.  On those days, I hope you make a promise to come back and see what I have to say the next time.  And let me know-even if you don't like it!

Where am I not comfortable expressing these feelings so clearly?  On my family blog.  If you were to hop over there right now you'd see my GFC counter has "0" connections.  Now, I have a handful of relatives that subscribe through a reader or an email subscription and I love them for that!  The trouble comes in the truth that that handful of people in my life are the extent of all the people I know who have one care to keep up with what's going on in the life of my kids or our family.

As I've started writing more frequently and perusing the wealth of blogs out there, I see that my family blog could easily do well if I decided to make it public.  I've resisted doing that for the sake of privacy and also to save my dignity...I feel like I'd end up making it public in a moment of desperation for SOMEONE to pay attention to me.  Obviously my husband and kids and myself don't need approval or high-fives for everything we do and everywhere we go.  But, just as when I write on this blog solely for the purpose of interacting with other people's thoughts and ideas, it'd be nice if our personal experiences were able to motivate or interest the people with which we share a personal connection.

So what is the answer?  Both in general writing blogs and in personal blogs?  How do you manage your friend connections?  What advice do you have for building up a committed and interested following?  And what made you decide to or not to publicly share your personal family blogs for all the world to see?  I'm just wondering.

Women In Deed

Two thoughts on my mind today.  First, of course Beck isn't eschewing the true meaning of Christmas...I haven't given him any kind of example to follow.  Second, I have done a terrible job of keeping my own identity as a woman and not just a wife and mother.  I don't feel like writing about the first one, seeing as how it would entail delving into the ugly parts of me and I already do that all too frequently.  Instead, a more positive path to lead me  back to me.

Sometime in the seven years I've been married, I've completely lost me.  I can't say anymore that I have any hobbies.  I don't hang out with gal pals.  I don't have the patience to be pampered.  It's almost guaranteed that if I tell you something I like to do, it's something I do with my whole family.  This has been really weighing on me.  It's the main reason I'm trying so hard to get back in the habit of writing.  That is something I love to do...just for me.

This isn't going to lead right now to me listing projects I want to start or pastimes I used to have.  I suppose maybe those will come later.  No, today I want to recognize and thank some of the wonderful women around me who have held on to who they are or who have found new parts of themselves during their journey.

Kathy, Brooke, & Kimberly
Three of my beautiful sisters (of course, the other two are fabulous as well!).  We were raised to be crafty and our Mom was always looking for creative ways to make a little extra money.  Now they have followed in her wake.  Kathy was always quite artistic and now is decorating beautiful cakes.  Brooke was a single-mom for years and began designing silverware jewelry to take care of her kids.  And Kimberly is a new mom now, trying to do the same for her family.  A fashion designer at heart, she has created a niche for herself everywhere from Renaissance fairs to baby showers.  I'm lucky to have so much creativity in the family.


Annie
I find my inspiration from Annie in a completely different way.  Life threw us together as sisters-in-law, and I'm grateful.  We probably would have never been found hanging out in the same circles.  What Annie brings to her life is a zeal and appreciation for having close friends to share celebrations and hardship.  The people she chooses to be around know how much she loves them.  And she takes the time to get away and be just with them every now and then.  Away from her kids and her husband.  Girl time just to be free.

Amanda
An old friend from my Alaska days whom I haven't seen in years, but Amanda is still inspiring me.  She's a little off the wall, maybe a little off her rocker.  She's kookie and I love her kookie-ness.  Amanda loves life!  That's how she inspires me.  She keeps dreaming and reaching and makes my dreams seem a little less out there.  


Darla
I don't know a lot about Darla, I'll admit.  She takes my rent each month and I try hard to not give her a reason to evict me.  What I do know about Darla, though, is that she uplifts her family.  In the trenches right now with serious illness, financial difficulties, and all kinds of unknowns, her faith is strong.  No person is immune from doubt or frustration, but her testimony is bright.  She hasn't shied away from service, her family obviously loves her, and they're making it through okay.  It's completely selfish, but watching her walk through the life she has today uplifts me.

Ladies, thank you.  For being you and having flaws and sharing them with me.  But also for not being scared or hesitant or resigned to defining yourself as less than you want to be.  You're helping me to be a better me.

Doing It Before I Think About It

The Deseret Book at Temple Square is presenting a watercolor art exhibit through the end of the Christmas Season.  The artist is Elder Richard G. Scott (Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints).  After admiring a friend's artwork, Elder Scott began exploring his own artistic abilities and 40 years later is sharing the product of that decision.  A nuclear engineer by trade, Elder Scott has found inspiration and escape through painting.  A hidden talent now on public display.

This particular art exhibit has thoroughly intrigued me as I struggle daily to find inspiration in sharing my own talents.  I am a writer, I feel confident enough to say.  I find joy in putting words together and enjoy when other people read what I have to say. Just as with Elder Scott, maybe people are not aware of that talent within me.   I have not exercised my ability in some time.  Call it writer's block, or laziness, it has been a long time since I've been able to stream together a series of sentences that anyone else would want to read.  It seems the more stressed or overwhelmed my life becomes, the quicker I am to turn away from what should be a source of release.  I feel like I have absolutely nothing to say.

My father-in-law, Duane Hiatt, has been a performer all his life.  Singing, orating, and enacting historical impressions, his talents and abilities have always been out there for the public to see.  When Ben and I were first married it was so exciting to see him performing Lincoln or giving a fireside or singing old 3d's tunes.  I use to be so baffled that his own kids and other in-laws were not as captivated as me.  I've deciphered, though, that it's because Duane has not spent his life afraid to share those songs and stories; they are well-known and well-appreciated by the people who have known him for long periods of his life.

And, so, I find it encouraging that he is now writing a blog in which he's sharing stories and lessons that not everybody has known.  It is surprising people and generations that have known him for awhile, that his ability to tell a story through the written-word is as entertaining as all his other abilities.  Obviously, Duane is in a different time of life than I am, but he's still a busy man finding time to share his thoughts and bring brief rays of light in my sometimes uninspiring days.

We hear all the time that each of us has talents to develop and share.  I know a lot of people but wouldn't say that I know the special abilities of too many of them.  That makes me sad.  I want to know what inspires you, what gives you joy and a break from the mundane-ness of your day.  I want to find more inspiration to share my talents with you-maybe talents I don't even recognize that I have, but definitely the writing ability I know I do have.

With these thoughts as my inspiration today, I'm going to spell-check and post without doing any other proof-reading.  If I take one moment to review and re-think today I know this will turn into one more thought that never makes it out of my head.  Thank you for reading.  Give me the opportunity to reciprocate with your God-given talents and abilities. I look forward to it!