NICU Nurse Follow-Up

The nurse from the heart-wrenching photos. 

 She's incredible and a perfect example of every nurse we encountered in our own little hospital.

;

Thankful Thirty #2

Source:  via Pinterest

The first 4 months of my last pregnancy were not pleasant.  I was exhausted and my body was broken down.  Feeling completely different than I did when I was pregnant with both my boys, every person I know had decided I must be carrying a girl.  I thought they must be right...but it didn't matter.  I was sick and being tested to the edge of what I could bear.

There were days it took all I had to pour cold cereal and turn on the television for Beck and Peyton before falling back into bed for the rest of the day.  It was on those days that I knew this was it for me.  Three babies was going to have to be what made up our family.  Doubled over and in tears I plead with the Lord to give me the strength and willpower to make it through my delivery and then apologized to my husband that this was going to have to be our last child.  Enduring another pregnancy was just not going to happen for me.

At the same time my husband was secretly pleading with the Lord to take this burden from me.  He was feeling guilty for the role he played in bringing this weakness upon me, and he was begging to be able to endure it for me.  As blessed as he knew we are to bring newborn spirits into our family, he admitted to God that he never wanted to see me feeling this way again.

We both knew this would be the completing of our family.

And here brings in the focus of my gratitude today:  The Lord knew too.  He heard our prayers and listened to our pleas.  He didn't chastise us for reacting in such a temporal moment, but wrapped his arms around our arms and answered back,

 "I believe you and I understand what you are going through. 

 I am near you and I will continue to be right here with you."

That is when we found out we were having twins.   

The Lord knew our hearts and recognized what he had asked of me.  Yet He also knew he had a plan for our family and it included more than just one more being.  He accepted my terms of defeat and did what he could to do to make sure His plan for us was complete.  If I, with my earthly mind and suffering, had decided to not be pregnant ever again, He sent the spirits He had left for us into the world together.

I do not know what our future holds.  There may be a day yet when we decide we do need to grow our family.  What I do know is that in the moment when I needed the Lord to accept all I had left to give to Him, he kept in mind His plan for me.  

I am grateful for a Heavenly Father 
so personally familiar with me and with His plan for me.

Thankful Thirty #1

Source: upliftconsulting.com via Cee on Pinterest

November could not have come at a better time for me with all it's thoughts of thankfulness.  Please join me this month as I focus daily on something in my life deserving a moment of extra gratitude.

Every once in a while something we've taken for granted or not paid attention to at all becomes strikingly meaningful.  This happened for me two months ago as I sat at home, awake late at night with my newborn babies miles away in our hospital NICU unit.  Watching television as a distraction, I watched a March of Dimes commercial intently for the very first time.  Never before I had really paid attention because never before had I considered the family the March of Dimes was helping could be mine.

It happened to me again this week as I watched live coverage of Superstorm Sandy hitting the eastern United States.  I was struggling with the feeling that this magnificently devastating storm was not moving me like I thought it would if it was happening somewhere else in the world.  And then came the images of precious but struggling newborn babies being evacuated at the height of the hurricane from the NICU unit of NYU Langone Medical Center.

This is the image that really did it for me...

Source: People.com

An ordinary nurse suddenly thrust into an extraordinary situation, curling over her tiny precious charge as together they brave the harsh elements raging all around them.

 It has reminded me today how grateful I am for the NICU nurses that so attentively watched over my little Jax and Lucca 24 hours a day for 16 days while I was unable to be with them.  Clocking in each day for a 12 hour shift where their sole responsibility was to make sure our defenseless wee ones had any possible thing they would need.  And assuring me that entrusting them with my two newest gifts from heaven was the way it needed to be.

Today I am grateful for those people in the world

who choose to live each day in the service of the littlest and weakest among us.  

I Saw Flying Monkeys...

Okay, this story doesn't actually involve a flying monkey, but it might as well have.

My husband and I have officially been parents of twins for 1 month now, and while most of it has been much easier than we were anticipating, the level of sleep deprivation known only to new parents has hit us head on!    To fully demonstrate, I bring you the conversation had at 3AM this morning as recorded by my very confused husband...

Things Michelle Said While High and Sleep Deprived

Her:  (While handing over a baby) "Well, now that the zebra has lost his stripes who is going to want him?"

Me:  What?

Her:  Yes.  He has no stripes so he needs fed.  Good luck!

Me:  So, he's hungry?

Her:  Yes, look at him!  You have to feed him now.  How much did the other one eat?

Me:  This much left (showing a couple of his fingers).

Her:  I don't know what the stroller is!

Me: (Getting a bottle and starting to feed the baby)

Her:  The thing I don't get is why we still have a stroller in the middle of the room!

Me:  What?

Her:  Why!  Is there still a single stroller in the middle of the room!  Where did it come from?  Why did you give me this baby?

Me:  I didn't.  He was fussy so you picked him up.

Her:  Wait, wait, who is this?

Me:  Lucca

Her:  So why are you awake?  And the stroller is still in the...Wow...I think I'm drugged.  

Me:  Yes, you sound like you're high.  But we still love you, even high...

No more ibuprofen before bedtime for me...or maybe even more...?