Thankful Thirty #28 (Home)

It is time to find a new home.  We love the house we've been in for the past 3 years, but it is time to pack and go before the walls burst at their seams.  We need an office space that isn't splayed across the dining room table.  We need a laundry room that doesn't play the role of kitchen 6.5 days of the week.  We need outdoor storage so our strollers, camping equipment, fishing gear, golf clubs, picnic toys, spare electrical parts, life jackets, ski boots, bike trailer, roller blades, fondue pots, spare wallpaper, backpacks, and air mattresses aren't all jammed into one uninsulated closet in our bedroom.  And we need to be able to walk through the whole place without tripping over baby things (or, worse, babies).

The hunt has begun, and of course we had to start out with nearly irresistible temptation.  There is a house for rent 1 block from where we live now that looked as close to my dream home as I can imagine ever finding.  A long driveway so it sets off the road.  Next to the elementary school with a gate in the fence to get through.  A wall of windows on the north side overlooking an expansive hollow and ravine.  And totally remodeled on top of everything.  The problem?  It's above our budget but just enough to make it impossible to walk away from.

The past two weeks have been a sincere test of willpower on my part.  That's how long we made ourselves wait before going to look at it.  We figured if it didn't get snapped right up, maybe it was meant to be.  Of course in the back of my mind I knew that if it didn't get snapped up there might be something wrong with it, but the idyllic abode I'd built it up to be in my mind kept me dreaming.

We looked at it this morning.  It took two minutes to get from our driveway to the front door and my kids didn't think it was strange at all because they could still see the park they play in and the neighbors they know and love.  And as soon as I walked in the door I knew this isn't the next place our family will call home.

Don't get me wrong, the layout was great, the windows and view were amazing!  There was a basement with two large pantries we hadn't been expecting, and also a patio out the back door.  Past that red flags went up in almost every room.  The bedroom walls were freshly painted, but the stucco walls were crumbling and black mold was poorly hidden.  The bathroom vanity that looked high quality in the listing photos was actually wooden, fading, and showing signs of rot due to the lack of windows or ventilation fans.  And the kitchen with it's new stainless steel appliances and marble counter tops were only a distraction from the matted carpet and exposed electrical wires behind the cupboard doors.  As we finished up our walk through,   I couldn't ignore the thought gnawing inside of me that the amount of cosmetic improvements done on the house must be covering up an equal amount of structural or mechanical problems with the house.

And that was it for me.  All the dreaming I've done since first seeing the listing, and worrying about falling in love with a place we couldn't afford, were mitigated instantly.  Not for one moment did I consider moving my boys into a bedroom with mold.  As we drove the two minutes back home I talked to my husband about the reasons we were comfortable letting this house go and he said that he agreed with me.  Before he left to go to work, though, I need to be sure.  I asked him,  "Are we on the same page?"

His reply? "But it has an ice maker in the refrigerator door..."

This house-hunting thing isn't going to be easy...

I'm grateful for the home I've loved and the excitement of looking for another one.

Thankful Thirty #26 (Service)

Source: crosscards.com via Michelle on Pinterest

I'm grateful for the sweet woman who held a twin during church  
so my husband and I could wrangle older children without killing all of them.

Thankful Thirty #25 (Children)

Source: pinterestcommunity.com via Michelle on Pinterest

My husband took my oldest son up the canyon for his first ski lesson of the season today and left me at home with our three littler boys.  IT WAS SO NICE!

I can't remember the last time my house was so quiet.  I can't remember the last time I've gone an entire day without yelling.  It was fun to watch our 2-year-old playing what he wanted to play for as long as he wanted to play it.  It was nice to read a book while feeding the babies instead of squeezing bottles into my role as referee.  And it was really nice to be showered in hugs and help when the ski day was through.

Another day like this might not come again for quite some time, but that's okay.  It's not one I plan on forgetting any time soon.

I'm grateful for an uplifting change in routine.

Thankful Thirty #20 (Humility)

"I want, I want, I want!"  I'm sick of hearing it already.  The Toys 'R Us toy catalog came in the mail nearly a month ago and I haven't had a quiet day since.  Every time I think I've hidden it, thrown it away, or incinerated it the blasted magazine reappears, a little more banged up, but still readable and enticing.  My kids are begging me for things they've never heard of and I guarantee would hate as soon as they found it underneath the Christmas tree. To try and combat the vacuum of materialism that can put a damper on the holidays, we sat down as a family tonight for a lesson I called "I Want/I Have." First we did an activity I adapted from the Groovy Storytimes blog.  She said,

For an object lesson on greed, build a small "table." Use building blocks at either end for legs, and a rectangle of thin cardboard, (I used a postcard) for the top...Place a small pile of small stones beside the "table."(We used building blocks) Pick up one of the stones and say, "I want a _______." Fill in any item that you know your kids like. Place that stone on the cardboard tabletop. Pick up another stone and repeat.  Again, fill in the blank with anything, from a bicycle to a Playstation to a pet dinosaur. Place this stone beside the first one on the cardboard. Continue in this fashion until there are so many stones on the cardboard that it collapses. Explain to the children that, if we're not careful, our "wants" can overwhelm us.

Everyone in our family took a turn doing this and then we talked about how when we want things, we'll never have everything we want.  We'll never be happy enough.  Then we did the activity again, but this time I moved the "table" legs together to make a sturdy base for the postcard to lay on.  With each block we stacked this time, we said, "I have ______."  When all our blocks were stacked steady on top of each other, we talked about how focusing on the blessings we have to be thankful for help us to be happier and stronger.

The second part of the activity was to draw a turkey on the chalkboard.  Each person named a thing they are grateful to have and added it as a feather on the turkey.  Then I explained to my boys that every time this week that they started a sentence with "I want...", I would stop them and we'd add another "I have..." feather to our turkey.  They were excited and I thought I was a genius.

Then my great activity kicked me in my own behind.  As we ate our family night treat and got ready for bed, I caught myself choking on my own "I wants...".  Real art when we move into our next house, a newer car seat for my toddler, new pans on Black Friday, and on and on and on.  Apparently, I'm as bad, if not worse, than my kids with their toy catalogs.

I didn't add more feathers tonight because I was able to stop myself before sharing all the material things I was wishing for.  But tomorrow morning, I will add a few important things to our turkey and hopefully by the end of the week our entire family will be focused a little more on the many blessings we have to be thankful for.

I'm grateful for the lessons I learn when I thought I was teaching my kids.

Thankful Thirty #16 (Relationships)

Source: flickr.com via Michelle on Pinterest

You are probably reading this at the beginning of your day, but I'm writing it at the end of my day and I'm tired and I'm ready to crash and I'm so glad my husband was willing to give the babies their bath tonight so I could sit for just one minute and relax.  He's a good dad.  He's a great husband!  I love him.

I'm grateful for thoughtful partnerships.

Thankful Thirty #9 (Parenting)

Source: pinstagram.co via Michelle on Pinterest

I chose this picture today for three reasons...

1. It made me think of the drawings plastered across my refrigerator door, my office space, and my children's bedroom walls.  My boys are ALWAYS coloring, cutting, and pasting.  I love watching them cultivate their creativity.
2. She (the bunny) looks like she's been through the wringer, or a war-zone, or my house today.  My 5-year-old NEVER runs out of energy and if his mouth is running, then he is running.  Literally.  He does almost all his thinking out loud.  And while he's telling himself whatever it is he's thinking, he's running laps through our living room, dining room, kitchen, and back again.  All day long today.  He was telling me the Cars 3 movie that was playing in his room with his Lego guys as the main characters.  Believe me when I say it could be the next Disney feature-length film, both in content and length.  At the end of the day, my head is SPINNING!
3. The most important things are not always the easiest to remember when I'm having a bad day.  Sometimes it takes all I've got to remember what's really important when it comes to that little guy. He's going to grow up one day and I have no doubt I'll be so incredibly proud of him then.  But I have the chance right now to marvel at the imagination that will catapult him to who he's going to become.  I need to remember that instead of letting it annoy me.

With tears on my cheeks, I'm grateful for 

that little 5-year-old boy

 who loves life so much he can't help sharing it with me.

Thankful Thirty #4

I fell in love with Gymboree today!  If you've been reading with me for awhile, you know that I love clearance shopping and one of my best days this year was my marathon DI shopping trip.  I very rarely shop at any of the stores at the mall, and especially not for kid clothes.  But last night I found myself there with no tiny hands tugging on my arms and ventured into shopping heaven!  It couldn't have been better timing.

See, last night I was shopping at closing time and only had one pair of pants in my hands.  Then I found out Gymboree was having a "Circle of Friends" customer appreciation sale and giving 30% off of every purchase.  I really mean EVERY purchase.  There were no buying limits or "with our store credit card."  Every single person shopping received the friends and family discount.  What store have you been in recently doing that?  In addition, anyone with a rewards card (which was free) was getting an additional 5% off. My one pair of pants ended up costing under $5.00.


I could not stop thinking about either the store or that incredible sale!  I had to go back today.  Knowing that I only shop the clearance racks when I do go in stores like Gymboree, I was positive I would walk out with an incredible deal.  And knowing that I now have twin boys to clothe, I definitely justified spending the money.  My sweet husband let me take an hour out of his birthday festivities to go and see what I could find.

This was absolutely the best shopping day!  My arms were piled neck high-that never happens to me!  I watched the discounts falling off and couldn't contain the grin spreading across my face.  My husband and I took bets to see how much we would save and I'm happy to say I was closer, but still came nowhere close to the total savings printed on the bottom of my receipt.

Now remember, I only shopped the clearance racks and I did save a good amount of money off of the clearance prices.  But today it seems entirely appropriate to consider the savings I made off of the original pricing.  When all was said and done, shopping at Gymboree today, I saved $439.55!!!!!!!  It's not used clothing, it's not cheap quality threadbare fabric.  I did good today.

And I still haven't stopped talking about it!  The thrill of finding such an incredible deal unexpectedly has my adrenaline pumping.  Gymboree will never know it, but this one sale on this one weekend has made me their newest loyal customer.

I'm grateful for opportunities to provide for my family responsibly.

Thankful Thirty #2

Source:  via Pinterest

The first 4 months of my last pregnancy were not pleasant.  I was exhausted and my body was broken down.  Feeling completely different than I did when I was pregnant with both my boys, every person I know had decided I must be carrying a girl.  I thought they must be right...but it didn't matter.  I was sick and being tested to the edge of what I could bear.

There were days it took all I had to pour cold cereal and turn on the television for Beck and Peyton before falling back into bed for the rest of the day.  It was on those days that I knew this was it for me.  Three babies was going to have to be what made up our family.  Doubled over and in tears I plead with the Lord to give me the strength and willpower to make it through my delivery and then apologized to my husband that this was going to have to be our last child.  Enduring another pregnancy was just not going to happen for me.

At the same time my husband was secretly pleading with the Lord to take this burden from me.  He was feeling guilty for the role he played in bringing this weakness upon me, and he was begging to be able to endure it for me.  As blessed as he knew we are to bring newborn spirits into our family, he admitted to God that he never wanted to see me feeling this way again.

We both knew this would be the completing of our family.

And here brings in the focus of my gratitude today:  The Lord knew too.  He heard our prayers and listened to our pleas.  He didn't chastise us for reacting in such a temporal moment, but wrapped his arms around our arms and answered back,

 "I believe you and I understand what you are going through. 

 I am near you and I will continue to be right here with you."

That is when we found out we were having twins.   

The Lord knew our hearts and recognized what he had asked of me.  Yet He also knew he had a plan for our family and it included more than just one more being.  He accepted my terms of defeat and did what he could to do to make sure His plan for us was complete.  If I, with my earthly mind and suffering, had decided to not be pregnant ever again, He sent the spirits He had left for us into the world together.

I do not know what our future holds.  There may be a day yet when we decide we do need to grow our family.  What I do know is that in the moment when I needed the Lord to accept all I had left to give to Him, he kept in mind His plan for me.  

I am grateful for a Heavenly Father 
so personally familiar with me and with His plan for me.

Saying Good-bye

Recently my boys' best friends moved with their family to North Carolina to be closer to their grandparents.  It was a sad day for us all.  Driving home from their house the night before his friends would leave, Beck and my husband had a tender conversation about how life changes from time to time.  It was one of those parenting moments when we wanted to wrap our arms around our little ones and protect them from all things sad that happen in the world.  

The truth is, it was sad for me to.  You see, I am supposed to be the one who moves away.  I do the leaving.  Working in the seasonal hospitality industry, it was my normal routine to move somewhere, make 2-3 close friends, and then wave good-bye as our contracts came to an end.  Some tears, some sincere attempts to keep in touch, and then we'd simply find ourselves on our merry way.  There are a few people I've kept in contact with over the years, but the reality of distance and time usually take their toll.  Thinking back on the fabulous people I've been blessed to know makes me smile and hold back tears simultaneously, but that's the life I have become accustomed to.

So when I tell you my boys' best friends moved away, I must also say that one of my good friends has moved away as well.  And it's a very new feeling to be the person left behind, to watch somebody else do the leaving.  Not because there aren't other people to hang around with, and not because I needed that relationship to validate me.  Rather, because the event represents everything changing in my life as settled down mother of four in suburban America.

Beck, Peyton, and I of course have other friends.  For me that is still the same as before-a small group of beautiful people who make me better just by knowing them.  Our old friends came into our lives when we joined an in-home Joy School, and now we've joined a new homeschool play group where we're getting to know a brand new group of people.  Our lives will go on, they will just never be quite the same.  

How have you helped your children deal with friends moving away?

I Saw Flying Monkeys...

Okay, this story doesn't actually involve a flying monkey, but it might as well have.

My husband and I have officially been parents of twins for 1 month now, and while most of it has been much easier than we were anticipating, the level of sleep deprivation known only to new parents has hit us head on!    To fully demonstrate, I bring you the conversation had at 3AM this morning as recorded by my very confused husband...

Things Michelle Said While High and Sleep Deprived

Her:  (While handing over a baby) "Well, now that the zebra has lost his stripes who is going to want him?"

Me:  What?

Her:  Yes.  He has no stripes so he needs fed.  Good luck!

Me:  So, he's hungry?

Her:  Yes, look at him!  You have to feed him now.  How much did the other one eat?

Me:  This much left (showing a couple of his fingers).

Her:  I don't know what the stroller is!

Me: (Getting a bottle and starting to feed the baby)

Her:  The thing I don't get is why we still have a stroller in the middle of the room!

Me:  What?

Her:  Why!  Is there still a single stroller in the middle of the room!  Where did it come from?  Why did you give me this baby?

Me:  I didn't.  He was fussy so you picked him up.

Her:  Wait, wait, who is this?

Me:  Lucca

Her:  So why are you awake?  And the stroller is still in the...Wow...I think I'm drugged.  

Me:  Yes, you sound like you're high.  But we still love you, even high...

No more ibuprofen before bedtime for me...or maybe even more...?

Uniquely December: Find An Evergreen Day

Today I'm re-sharing a post of one of my favorite childhood holiday memories ...

The winter holidays are meant for kids.  Santa Claus is real, snow falls solely for sledding and building snow families, and a baby (just like I used to be, they'll say) was born in the hay.  When else do we let them bring trees in the house or bury them with brand new toys, shiny paper, and glittery ribbon?  In the thick of it, they'll tell you every bit of it is magical.  It's not until we get a little older that particular pieces of that holiday magic begin to plant themselves in a special part of our memory.  For me, the enchantment was the Christmas tree.

Growing up in Iowa, the formula for the perfect Christmas tree involved waiting for a bitter cold day and swirling biting winds.  The whole family piled out of the station wagon at the country Christmas tree farm, picked up a hacksaw and trudged acres and acres to the farthest, most un-harvested hill.  The arguments then ensued as six girls poured out their hearts in defense of their " perfect"  tree.  Ultimately, Mom got the one she wanted, and the saw went to work chopping down her tree.

The adventure continued on as we dragged our enormous tree back across the snow-laden hills looking for a tractor and trailer willing to give us a ride back to our car.  If we were lucky, the tree would fit in the baler-one year it would not-and a great big Christmas tree bundle got strapped to the top of the car.  Piling back into the station wagon, we raced home to set up our tree.

The happy memories don't end there.  Getting the tree home was only half the act.  Enter Pa-pa and his voice of reason.  "Dawn, that tree is too big.  It won't fit in our house."  He was right nearly every year.  The tree's trunk always  received a second round of shearing before taking it's place front and center in the living room window.

After the tree was decorated and lit, we enjoyed seeing more and more presents accumulate underneath.  We would plug in the lights in the late afternoon and sometime before going to bed, Mom and Dad would unplug it again.  Until Christmas Eve.  On Christmas Eve we all knew the twinkling lights stayed on all night.  Early in the morning (or later in the morning depending on how old we were getting to be), six girls would tumble out of bed, shuffle into the living room and be greeted with the most breathtaking sight!  The glow of the Christmas tree illuminated the room, shining off wrapping paper, and calling attention to a big bag from Santa. Spread out on the floor, in front of the tree, were six stuffed-to-the-brim stockings inviting us to come and partake.  With the allure of new toys, the moment was over in the blink of an eye, but the living room aglow on Christmas morning is what Christmas time magical to me.

Imagine then, the struggle it's been with a husband who grew up a little bit differently.  In a home that in all ways seemed even more frugal than my own, the electric bill at Christmas time apparently just went out the window.  He wants the lights on all the time, day and night and any extra time in between.  Last year we followed each other around, secretly plugging and unplugging.  I was certain he was being obstinate only because he didn't like digging around for the loose cords to fit into the socket.  There had to be a solution before we started our holiday celebrating again this year.

In come our kids.  Even before talking about getting a tree, Beck was telling us excitedly and assuredly that Christmas trees have lots of presents and candy canes.  I have no idea where the candy canes came from, but he was certain and now our tree is covered in candy canes and he's eating one every day.  The first night we had our tree up I heard Beck telling his dad that if he couldn't sleep he would just come out and look at the tree.  The second night we had our tree up, I found him Beck sleeping on the couch and when he woke up the first thing he said was, "I just wanted to lay here and look at this beautiful tree."

A mom's heart melts.  It's a struggle to walk by and see the lights on at all times of the day.  I want my family to know joy the way I remember it as a child.  At the same time, who am I to take away a three-year-old's joy?  Children make the holidays!

Uniquely December: World Aids Awareness Day

I was just a kid when Magic Johnson announced that he had been infected with HIV/AIDS.  Back then everybody was scared.  We didn't know about the disease, didn't understand how it evolved, how it was spread, or what a life with AIDS could be. That was twenty years ago.  Magic Johnson is still living and the face of AIDS has changed tremendously.

I have to admit I haven't had personal experience with HIV/AIDS and honestly have not given much thought to the disease.  I do know that while AIDS is present in people all around the world, infected people everywhere are living longer due to increased research, treatments, awareness, and education.  Unfortunately there are still places where the infection is still an epidemic-in particular, many nations of Africa.

A prominent reason for the AIDS explosion in these undeveloped countries is transfer of the infection from mother to child during pregnancy, birth, and/or breastfeeding  With the uneducated stigma of such a terrible disease, mothers too often receive inadequate information and resources to treat themselves, and they don't know there are precautions they can take to keep their babies healthy and safe.

The good news is that the picture of HIV/AIDS is looking better.  The 2011 UNAIDS report shows a significant drop recently in the number of new infections.  This has to be a result of hard work to increase the availability of testing and education and I've been especially touched by the efforts of the organization mothers2mothers.

mothers2mothers provide a full range of help to mothers in Africa dealing with the AIDS epidemic.  These include:

•  education and support to pregnant women and new mothers living with HIV to increase access and adherence to lifesaving interventions for them and their infants
• Provide education to clients before and after they take their HIV tests during pregnancy
• Provide one-on-one peer education and group support sessions to pregnant women and new mothers with HIV
• Offer services to women together with their partners as a couple

Visit the mothers2mothers website and find out more about the important work they are doing in Africa and Europe.  While you're there check out this sweet idea to get involved...

I have no affiliation with mothers2mothers-just a cause that moved me :)

For more information:

http://www.unaids.org/en/

http://www.aidsresearch.org/index.html

http://www.amfar.org/

http://www.time.com/time/interactive/0,31813,2021888,00.html

In My Heart On Thursday

"Nurturing her own mind and spirit is more important to a mother's responsibilities

 than the meals she prepares for her family."

Janath Russell Cannon, Women of Covenant

Joy

On my new blog, Eating the Nibbly Bibs, the focus is 100% joy.  Both for my two boys and for me.  I'm working out of a fabulous book named Teaching Your Children Joy where I do a daily activity with them and then record my thoughts and observations on how it went.  

Here is a post from last week:

I'm InWhat I'm learning about parenting is this:  You have to be all in.  Children grow up whether you're intensely involved or not.  The opportunity we have is to be a part of that during the short amount of time we have with them.  And we choose the degree of intensity.

During the past four years I've had ups and downs-periods of complete attention and periods of viewing from the sidelines.  The last year I'd evaluate as fairly well checked out and the results are there to prove it.  Beck and I argue like he's a teenager.  Indeed I look at him and can see exactly what 14-year-old Beck will be.  But the good news is that that's true for the good times too!  I've noticed before, and I'm seeing it now...when I'm anxiously engaged in being mom to my two boys, they smile and laugh and want to be anxiously engaged with me.  It's a lesson worth learning, and one I'm sure I'll need to keep learning again and again.

Today's Teaching Your Children Joy activity was to "make spontaneity a high priority."  Be open to letting it happen anytime and anyplace.  It's hard to get past the point when you holler "No," or "Stop," "Sshhh!", but when you do it makes the world more interesting for both you and your child.

So try it.  Let them splash in a puddle.  Follow the direction of their pointing fingers and over-enthusiastic shouts of "LOOK!"  Clear the way and let them spin the kid cart while walking through the grocery store.  They'll be happier and you might just find yourself barefooted squishing mud between your toes.  

If you have little ones, or if you don't, I'd love to have you come on over and check it out... 

Eating the Nibbly Bibs

For earlier A-Z posts...

Child-Friendly Entertainment

I was contacted recently to review a new animated video project by Sun Swing Media, and though I've tried not to turn this blog into a commercial venue, I appreciate what they're trying to do and agreed to share their concept and my thoughts with you.

The concept is to take a previously published story from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints' children's magazine, The Friend, and produce simple animations of the story for parent's to download and share with their families.   The creator's are hoping to provide simple entertaining animations with a clean and positive message.

The first video Sun Swing Media has completed is "The Decision."  The story follows three boys walking home one day, happening upon an inappropriate magazine, and their reactions as they decide what to do with it.  The animation itself reminded me of the "Home Star Runner" animation clips.  And at about 4 minutes long, it's short enough to keep children's attention.

I love the idea behind these videos.  My little boy is 4 and loves getting his Friend magazine in the mail each month.  These videos will be a great supplement to the stories he sees in there.  If you're not familiar with the Friend magazine, don't be scared away.  The intention is to produce animations of topics that our kids are encountering in their lives today.

I'll be upfront with you.  I did not show "The Decision" to my little boy.  I agree that we need to be open with even our small children about the threats awaiting them in the world.  I don't feel, however, like he needs to be introduced to words like pornography quite yet.  For children at the higher end of the target audience, though, (6-10ish) the video does deal with the subject tastefully and appropriately.  Also, the creators are honest about not being screenwriters.  The dialogue pretty closely follows the story, but I don't feel like the simple animation style necessarily lends itself well to the depth of emotion the creators were striving for.

Would I buy this video for download?  For the $1.00 price tag, absolutely!  Not because this particular video was 100% captivating, but because I know that as Sun Swing Media produces more and more videos, the quality will become better and we NEED more child-friendly entertainment options available for our families.

Interested in finding out more?

Download "The Decision" Now

Link to the original story printed in the Friend

Family Lesson Material to go along with the video

Official Press Release

Other Reviews Here and Here

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this video or anything else you want to share about the media options available for children today!

*Sun Swing Media, while having permission to work with stories from a Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints publication, is an independent production company and not an official representative of the church.

What Do You Do In a Family?

Yesterday I had the great privilege to teach a lesson at church on family responsibility (basically, parenting).  A week ago I was irrevocably convinced I was the last person on earth qualified to teach that particular lesson and almost called to back out.  As the week progressed I thought to myself, "If any of my neighbors are in class on Sunday, I'll have to feign immediate illness."  They would surely call me out as a completely unqualified hypocrite.  But the Holy Ghost does wonderful things when you turn over your life in humility.  When it was all said and done, the 35 minutes I spent in front of the class was the most spiritual time I've ever felt while teaching.

Here are some of the things the spirit taught to me:

 My kids are children of our Heavenly Father.  They have His spirit, and their spirits studied with Him, learned from Him, and grew to maturity before they were given the opportunity to come to me. When I look at them I need to see what He sees and ask, "Who are you?" instead of "Why are you doing that?" or "What were you thinking."  My role as their mother is as much to learn from them as it is to teach them the things that I know.

In the grand scheme of things, what is really important for me to teach them?  To have faith.  To believe in the power of repentance.  That by making right choices, they can have the Holy Ghost as a constant guide.  And to pray (D&C 68:25, 28).  And if these are the things they are to learn, then I need to be sure to teach them in meekness and with patience.  I need to be ever kind and focused on true knowledge rather than my human confusions.  I need to be able and willing to clarify their mistakes with love.  Everything I do needs to pull them closer towards me rather than build up a moat that pushes them away (D&C 121:41-44)

It is a marvelous thing to have a family and that part of that family compound is a spouse to share both the burdens and the joys. I appreciated the council provided in my lesson material for my husband laying out simply the three things which are essential in his role as a father:

• Being worthy of the sacred calling to be a father and living in a way that allows him to perform in that capacity
• Making it a priority to spend time individually with each of his kids.  To get to know them and build a relationship where they can always feel comfortable calling on him.
• To provide for his family 

I especially appreciated the order of those three things.  His focus, and our focus together, should always be on the spiritual things first.  And while it is his responsibility, if possible, to provide for us, it should never become his main priority.

That brings me, then, to what I should be doing as a mother.  More than anything, my little boys need me to be spending time with them.  They need me to play with them and teach them life doesn't always have to be serious.  Children learn the best through play and I should never pass up the opportunity to listen to the things  they are imagining and dreaming.  

I need to do everything in my power to provide the best example of faithfulness and spiritual strength.  My actions and attitudes go a long way in allowing the spirit to dwell in our home and bring the peace children need to feel when surrounded by family.  Someday they will leave our home and head out into the world.  When they do it won't matter if someone else has to teach them to sew on a button or properly wash the dishes.  I would never dream of leaving their seeds of testimony to be planted and cultivated by the outside world.

A story in The Book of Mormon teaches about of a group of 2000 young men who fought valiantly for their families and their communities in battle.  Through trouble and strife, they ever laid the source of their courage at the feet of their mothers.

...and they were all young men, and they were exceedingly valiant for courage...but behold, this was not all-they were men who were true at all times in whatsoever thing they were entrusted.  Yea, they were men of truth and soberness, for they had been taught to keep the commandments of God and to walk uprightly before him...yea, they had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them.  And they rehearsed unto me the words of their mothers, saying, : "We do not doubt our mothers knew it." Alma 53:20-21, 56:47-48

That brings me to the last, and most important, thing I took away from my lesson yesterday: A mother's testimony can have a profound influence on her children.  I would add that a mother without a strong testimony will have an equally profound influence on the testimonies of the spirits with which she has been entrusted.  And yet, we are not alone.  Being a parent is far from easy and there will continue to be times when my spirit is dampened and trampled.  Yet I know there is no need to worry.  The Lord is watching over me.

Reality

My husband is in California today.  He had to get up at 4AM, wait at work for his unreliable boss to show up and take him to the airport, and get on a plane to fly to Sacramento.  He's doing 2 hours worth of work there and then driving a box truck (think Uhaul) across Nevada and arriving back home sometime tomorrow.  Oh, and did I mention that he just sent me photos of himself sitting in the co-pilot's chair in the cockpit of the jet he flew on?  I have no idea what that was all about but the grin on his face tells me that something extraordinary happened to him this morning.

What was I doing when the photo arrived?  Reprimanding my toddler for wiping his bum without toilet paper.  Losing the argument that he needed to use HOT water to wash his hands.  Insisting that he go get clean underwear instead of running around the house naked.  And hearing him tell me after he's run on the carpet that he's found poo on his feet, too.

So, what was my initial reaction to my husband's moment of joy digitally captured and sent to me over the airwaves?  Hatred and disgust, honestly.  Completely gone was the sympathy I'd felt when he'd exhaustedly crawled out of bed in the dark.  The gentle prayer I'd offered up that he would be safe and alert on his drive back our way completely buried.  Also forgotten were the laughs I'd had with my two boys just hours earlier as they piled on top of me in bed, and any thought of encouraging words or shared enthusiasm.

That's how my days tend to be.  I know my husband words hard at a job he doesn't always like.  But because he gets to leave the house, and the kids, I tell myself his life is easy.  When he gets home at night I continue on with cooking dinner or finishing the laundry, but check out from anymore taking care of the kids.  Dad's home, Dad's turn.  It seems like it's working because he loves playing with his boys more than anything on the planet, but it's probably only working because I give him no other choice.

Do you find yourself having the same thoughts or reactions with people and events in your life?  What helps you throughout the day to focus on the beautiful and fun things that are happening instead of getting buried in individual nasty moments?

How do you show your spouse/family/friends that you appreciate the sacrifices they've made for you?  And what gives you balance throughout your day?

Meet My...

...Father-In-Law...

Duane Hiatt

Interesting Fact #1: Duane and his wife Diane brought 15 hilarious and thoughtful people into the world.  After Diane passed away from ovarian cancer, Duane and his 15 kids relied on their faith that the family is central to the Lord's plan and that He had a plan for each one of them.  A year later an equally faith-filled woman named Sharon came into their lives and together the 17 of them continued onward into the world.  Now, nearly 25 years later 17 has grown to 87 with 15 spouses, 54 grandchildren, and the oldest grandchild's fiance joining the family this year.

Interesting Fact #2:  There is a fairly short song every LDS Primary child knows called, "Follow the Prophet," (9 verses is short for a kid's song, right?).  Asked to write the song only weeks after Diane had passed away, the song holds special meaning to our family and Duane continues to share the message portrayed in the song whenever he has the opportunity.   

Interesting Fact #3  Duane is the only rock star I know.  Really!  In the days of Elvis and the Beetles he performed in a band called  "The Three D's." Touring across the United States, Canada, and Asia in a time when the face of music was changing, they found increasing success by keeping a clean image and entertaining without lowering their moral standards.  Their music is particularly refreshing today when #1 hits too often are denigrating and evocatively offensive.  Covering both religious and secular subjects and songs, each album has distinct character.  My personal favorite album is Rhyme, Rhythm, and Reason-Great Poetry Set to Music.

My father-in-law has lived a full life and earned the right to sit and rest, but that's not who he is.  He continues guiding the people around him with big ideas and entertaining delivery.  The Three D's message is as essential and applicable as it was when three young family men first took it out on the road and that is the reason I'm sharing this part of my life with you!

For your last chance at an early entry in my A Blogtastic Extravaganza giveaway, leave a comment here telling me something from this post that has peaked your curiosity!

Idea For Something New

I got my first scanner recently and have been excitedly digging through boxes of photos and momentos looking for items to give a renewed online life.  One of the things I've found are Ziploc bags full of magazine cut-outs that once upon a time I used in my scrapbooking; so many cute sayings and moving illustrations that aren't doing me much good in a drawer.

Sorting through the piles I found this cute cut-out and thought it would make a great banner for my blog.  So, combining it with random photos I've unearthed, welcome to my new feature, Back in the day;).  Let me know what you think!

This photo invoked a belly-aching fit of laughter from my husband once I explained that the very professional looking clowns were my mom, my sisters, and me (that's me on the tricycle).  

He's hardly one to be surprised at the things our parents make us do-he grew up performing in his own eclectic line of "family shows."  But, nonetheless, he thought it was pretty funny.

My mom was a creative and motivated lady when her girls were little.  There were always craft projects in progress and new ideas brewing.  My five sisters and I always knew she was a great artist and her most impressive talent was being able to use her beautiful handwriting completely backwards.  I don't know how or when she honed that skill, but little girls don't think there's anything much cooler than seing their names written in reverse cursive.

Our hometown held an annual summer "Old Settlers" celebration with a special morning parade.  These were where I remember my mom's biggest ideas coming forth, as can be witnessed in the photo above.  There was no special reason for us to be in the parade.  We weren't promoting a cause or advertising a business.  My mom just set to work making each of us our very own clown costume and put us in the parade.  Naturally.  Why wouldn't your family parade in front of the entire town and half the county for the fun of it?

I'm sure there were other times we entered the parade as a family.  I don't remember.  When I was older I do remember my mom being in charge of the PTA float.  She dressed all the neighborhood kids (including my sisters still in elementary) in different occupational uniforms and spent hours dubbing a cassette tape (that's right, I said dubbing a cassette tape) with the opening lines of Whitney Houston's "Greatest Love of All" to play as they proceeded past the crowds.

I feel my mom's influences in my life nearly everyday.  Often it's in the times I'm wondering why I struggle so much with being a fun and loving parent, wondering where my anger and quickness to punish come from.  My husband looks at me peculiarly each time he comes home to find a brand new craft project splayed across our dining table.  He completely doesn't understand the fun in working side by side my sisters at a weekend craft show.  Or why I get so excited about our children winning cheesy baby contests so we can decorate a "float" and be in the parade. 

This photo of my family "clowning" around is a joyful reminder that my creative and positive quirks come from my mom as well.

In My Heart On Thursday

"One of our sons was spending a few days incarcerated in a local facility to 'pay his debt to society.'  As I looked at his sorrowful countenance behind that glass wall, my heart nearly broken, I only wished I had held and rocked that baby boy.  I couldn't, as hard as I tried, think of a specific time when I had held him on my lap and kissed his head, face, and ears and held him close to my heart.

I had washed that boy, scolded him for misdeeds, sent him to school, even taken pictures of him, but I couldn't remember putting my lips next to his ear and whispering tender, loving, happy words that might have echoed in his memory when he needed them.  When my arms couldn't get to him through that terrible glass barrier, I wanted to remember how it felt to hold him and I wanted him to remember how it felt to be held and loved by his mother.

So, if I could go back, I would hold and rock and sing and whisper love to my child every single day."

                                                                      -Excerpt from Delta, Utah, Ensign Magazine, July 1996