I Saw Flying Monkeys...

Okay, this story doesn't actually involve a flying monkey, but it might as well have.

My husband and I have officially been parents of twins for 1 month now, and while most of it has been much easier than we were anticipating, the level of sleep deprivation known only to new parents has hit us head on!    To fully demonstrate, I bring you the conversation had at 3AM this morning as recorded by my very confused husband...

Things Michelle Said While High and Sleep Deprived

Her:  (While handing over a baby) "Well, now that the zebra has lost his stripes who is going to want him?"

Me:  What?

Her:  Yes.  He has no stripes so he needs fed.  Good luck!

Me:  So, he's hungry?

Her:  Yes, look at him!  You have to feed him now.  How much did the other one eat?

Me:  This much left (showing a couple of his fingers).

Her:  I don't know what the stroller is!

Me: (Getting a bottle and starting to feed the baby)

Her:  The thing I don't get is why we still have a stroller in the middle of the room!

Me:  What?

Her:  Why!  Is there still a single stroller in the middle of the room!  Where did it come from?  Why did you give me this baby?

Me:  I didn't.  He was fussy so you picked him up.

Her:  Wait, wait, who is this?

Me:  Lucca

Her:  So why are you awake?  And the stroller is still in the...Wow...I think I'm drugged.  

Me:  Yes, you sound like you're high.  But we still love you, even high...

No more ibuprofen before bedtime for me...or maybe even more...?

Sleepy Time

Sleep.  I absolutely love it. That has not always been the case.  Here's the journey sleep and I have taken to get us to the symbiotic relationship we enjoy today:

High School: Who sleeps when they're in high school.  I mastered the art of waking up, getting dressed, and rolling out the driveway in 5 minutes.  My sister Kathy was thankful she never had to worry about sharing the bathroom while she was getting ready.

College:  I worked graveyards doing night audit at a hotel, a good amount of overtime covering day shifts, and took 21+credits at school.  One semester my schedule required me to leave for school Friday at noon and not return home to sleep until Tuesday morning at 8AM.  I still tremble thinking of the day I pulled in my driveway after driving the 30 minutes across Des Moines but not remembering a single thing I did after clocking out and getting in my car to head for home.

Early 20's:  Most of this time I was in Alaska. In the summers I lived 2 hours away from any civilization.  With friends, I'd often work all day, drive into Fairbanks for a full night of fun, then head back home in the wee hours of the morning to make it to work the next day.  I'm 100% convinced that I ran over a human foot on one such excursion. 

Winters I lived in Fairbanks working two jobs.  On the weekend friends and I spent our time dancing until closing time at the Greyhound Lounge.  I decided it was time to catch up on my sleep the morning I got up and drove to work thinking I was going to be late for my 7AM shift.  I drove past 4 bank clocks but didn't register the time until I parked in the hotel parking lot and realized it was only 2:45AM.  I'd been asleep for a whopping 30 minutes before waking up in my panic.  

Late 20's:  Sleeping got better after I got married.  My husband and I quickly adopted a routine of not going to bed until well after midnight, but most of the time I could sleep in a little bit and still wasn't feeling like I needed a whole night's rest to fully function.

Now:  After having my second baby my body decided it would go on strike if I tried rousing it before getting 8 hours of sleep.  We could have a party if I let it have 10.  I still haven't figured out how to get in bed before midnight, but my husband is a saint who gets up with the kids and lets me sleep in the morning.  Heaven help me if he ever gets a job that requires him to be gone early.  

And that brings me to this weekend.  At 11:30pm on Saturday night my sore throat decided to explode with a pain I've never felt before.  My husband ran to the store for cold medicine.  I'm very slow to take medicine, and when I do it's usually only a half-dose, so when he gave me a full dose and I swallowed it I should have expected it to knock me out.  

That would have been a huge understatement!  I woke up at 10:30 long enough to agree I should stay home from church, and then not again until 12:50.  When my family got home from church I crawled back in bed and slept the rest of the day.  Literally.  I woke up at 7:30.  Everyone was getting into bed when I decided to start my day-still feeling a little groggy.  And then I crawled back in bed with my husband at our normal time.  

This morning I'm feeling pretty great!

A-R