I Wandered Off, but I'm Wandering Still...

If you were hanging out with me a year ago, you might remember that I was walking around with a pretty dismal view of the New Year.  In the end, however, 2011 turned out to be a pretty great year.  I had the privilege of teaching some extremely powerful Relief Society lessons where the class taught me more than I possibly could have given to them.    I got to go on a shopping spree.    I traveled with my family to the Grand Canyon, San Diego, all over New Mexico, and a gigantic swap meet in the Midwest.  And I finally found a way to love my hair.  Going into 2012 I have a thousand reasons to be happy and  grateful.

As I think about what I want to accomplish in the coming year, the word that keeps coming to mind is "responsibility."  Nearly every area of my life could be marked with bright red "LAZY" stamp across the top of it.  In cultivating that laziness, I've neglected a lot of people and a lot of opportunities.  It's time for me to get busy being the person I'm supposed to be.

My new resolve breaks down into five basic categories:

~Making my physical world better (one little step, or maybe two)

~Fixing the damage caused by considering myself a stay-at-home mom instead of a homemaker

~Testing my grit as a homeschooling parent before I make a decision I hate

~Realistically making our extended travel plans

~Blogging the way I'm supposed to be.

I'll write about each of those in the coming weeks.  About the blogging, however, I want to apologize now for letting myself get carried away.  The past year on this blog has been so fun, but the past few months, especially, have been unfulfilling. I started this blog as an outlet for thoughts that were important to me.  When people ask what I write about, I tell them, "a little bit faith, a little bit life, a little bit traveling."  Those are the things that are important to me.  I never wanted Wandering Still to be money-making or popularity inducing.  I just wanted to share my thoughts with the people who wanted to listen.  Thank you to those of you who've wandered off with me.  But rest assured, 

2012 is going to find me getting back to "ME."  

I hope you'll join me on the journey.

In My Heart On Thursday

"If you live up to your privileges the angels cannot be restricted from being your associates."   -Joseph Smith, Jr

Hoping that 2011 finds you being the best that you can be!

Obligatory New Year's Blah-Blah-Blah

A few weeks ago I read an article explaining that time does not stop or change at the New Year, only humans do.  At the time I thought to myself, "Who cares?  Resolving to make myself a better person isn't a bad thing."  Now, though, I've lived through another New Year's and I'm understanding more clearly what the article's writer had been imbibing.

The truth is, I am not a better person than I was three days ago and I don't feel the motivation or desire to be so.  This New Year's Eve found me more mad at the world than I can remember ever being and that mood hasn't left me.  I know we're individually responsible for making our own happiness, but I haven't made it work before and the dead cold dark of January isn't really the time I see myself finding motivation to make this time successful.  So, with an apology to my husband and my kids who take the brunt of my self-imposed misery, let me say that one day I will try again to quit making your life miserable.

In the meantime, here are a few of the activities I'm looking forward to planning, experiencing, and writing about in 2011.

1.  A year of Thai food cooking.
2.  List and review of books I read in 2010
3.  Finding a way to make sure 2012 finds us somewhere more exotic than we are now.
4.  Rediscovering the feeling of true faith.

Best wishes to you if you're hyped up for a finger-tingling year.  Hopefully I'll find you there in a little while!

Looking Backwards Forwards

Writing inspiration has been on hold for, oh, let's say the past several months. I know it's in there hibernating, and I'm going to coax it out one of these days, but for now let me look back to my New Year's entry from a year ago... Still being fairly new at motherhood, a few of my resolutions last year focused on much-needed me-time. This blog is proof that I at least got a start on putting my mind back to use and my "Recent Reads" list reached nearly 40 books in 12 months. Using those as launch pad, I also taught myself to sew, experimented with all kinds of cooking, and got in quite a bit of purely indulgent shopping (well, clearance-rack indulgence). For Michelle as an individual, it was a pretty productive year. My proudest accomplishment of 2008 was our family goal of planning and taking a European vacation. What an incredible experience that we still think about everyday! Traveling completes me and it enriches our family immeasurably. I love my family. Sharing with them this passion enriches me. The last of my four desires for 2008 was focused on supporting Ben in his endeavor to find work he loved and get our family settled in wherever that may be. This is the item on my list which I could have done better and am still working on. The excitement of graduation turned into the reality of the working world and the adventure I had my heart set on turned into new opportunities right here in Utah. The struggle to see Ben's job here as what is meant to be isn't always easy for me, but as I was driving back into the Utah Valley a few weeks ago I looked towards the mountain and remembered that this is where my home is. My life is here and my family is here. I need to engage in living here. This brings me to my goals for 2009: 1. Live where you are. Looking for adventure, living off-the-wall, and exploring nooks and crannies are what life to me. There are a million activities and opportunities for Ben, Beck, and I right outside our door and we're going to grab at every one of them! 2. Be in bed by midnight every day. I'm blessed that Beck sleeps pretty consistently until 8:30 in the morning. I should take advantage of that and get the full night of sleep my body needs. Trust me, getting to bed early is not easy (yes, midnight is still early for me). That being said, this goal will have the added benefit of cutting down on hours of completely useless activities. 3. Let people in my life know how much they mean to me. I want to actively share with my family and friends how their talents and gifts are noticed and appreciated. I'm grateful for the time and energy people share with me and want to stop overlooking those special moments. 4. Get my affairs in order. Ben and I have a lofty goal to get out of debt-pay off our credit cards and the car. At the same time, we're actively trying to build our food storage 3-months at a time. More importantly, though, we need to get our official paperwork taken care of-wills, guardianship, and records of our personal information. I recently watched my brother-in-law and his family sort out the red-tape and business drudgery that came along with the unexpected passing of his father and learned how important and helpful it is to be prepared for anything. These are not easy or pleasant things, but I want to make life as easy as possible and be reassured that Ben and Beck will be taken care of if anything ever happens to me. To end this entry and get started with the new year, please let me express my gratitude for the people who read my thoughts and have their own thoughts to share. You encourage me and give me new ideas to ponder throughout my day. I hope that 2009 is everything that you dream it will be!

New Year, Better Me

It's a new year and not a single cliche on my plate. My new year is starting off great. Which is not to say I've foregone making any resolutions at all. I'm just going to give my weight a break and not beat myself up uselessly over the number of hours I spend reading my scriptures. This year my goals are more specific and I feel confident they're obtainable. Now, so that in a few months I can be reminded that I did have goals back at the beginning of the year, here are my 2008 New Year's Resolutions: Watch less tv and read more books

Adjusting to life as a stay-at-home mom has been a bumpy road for me. Fortunately, I seem to have settled in and treasure the afternoons when all I accomplish is rolling around and laughing with my little boy. Surprisingly, it has given me a chance to slow down and re-explore some of my interests from the past. I want to cultivate those interests by feeding them and making my mind work.

Write once a week

In middle school my free time was filled with creative writing. Sometime between then and now I quit using pen and paper to express myself. Although my creativity has been replaced with much more practical and literal thinking, I want to see my thoughts written down again. It's always been a source of growth and learning. I want to see where that takes me.

Have fun planning and taking our family celebration trip in Europe

Of my four resolutions, this will be the easiest. I forced myself to wait for January 1 to start making trip plans. Now it's full steam ahead! My inner desire for this goal is that at the end of it all the three of us will have seen everything we wanted to see and learned more than we could have imagined without bitter feelings or undue stress.

Encourage & support Ben in finding a job that he'll love in a place that we'll love The first half of this year is going to be extremely exciting and extremely scary. We've felt already how easy it is to become complacent, but are determined to find ourselves six months from now challenged and beginning life anew in the place the Lord has prepared for us. I'm shooting towards these goals. Feel free (PLEASE) to ask me now and then how I'm doing. Your advice and support is invaluable, and, please, let me wish you the best of luck in whatever you set forth to do in 2008!