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Tuesday, February 22, 2011

A Lesson For the Class

"Cleanliness is next to Godliness."

The Relief Society room filled with gentle chuckles when a sister offered this as one of the most important things we can teach our children in our homes.  In preparing the lesson I had anticipated many more answers like this-the temporal lessons taught by parents.  Instead, the ladies in the room had humbled me with long lists of values and attributes they've taught their little ones-honesty, respect, to love the scriptures.  I secretly cheered that there was at least one sister in the room who's home, like mine, has not yet become a permanent haven of heaven on earth. She continued, "If the Saviour were on the Earth today, would he want to come into your home?"

It seemed like a simple enough thought to me and we returned to listing divine characteristics all children are apparently supposed to know before they head off to school.  Then, a screeching halt.  A sister in the back row raised her hand and proclaimed, "I'm going to have to disagree with that sister over there."  She went on to voice her opinion that the Saviour is not going to care what your house looks like when he comes again.  Her intention was good, but the comment was actually quite offensive, and standing in the front of the room I could see the first sister's feelings had been hurt.  Unfortunately, I have not yet become perfect at diffusing these types of situations in class and I chose to move on to the next part of the lesson rather than make this a point of discussion.  That was two days ago and the entire event keeps playing itself out in my mind. 

Here is how I now know I should have responded:

I understand both viewpoints and don't believe either one of them is completely wrong.  The Lord has said, "Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me." (Rev. 3:20) The question needs to be not whether or not the Saviour will want to visit me, but whether or not I keep my home in order so as to feel comfortable when the Saviour comes to visit me.

Latter-Day Saints have been instructed to keep their homes like a temple. I'm sure similar sentiments are taught across many world religions.  The Holy Ghost does not dwell in unholy places, places of clutter and disorganization.  And certainly it is much more difficult to recognize the promptings of the Spirit when our minds are distracted by busyness and a backlog of responsibilities.  As with the story of Martha and Mary we need to ask ourselves if we have prepared well enough for the Saviour's arrival so that we might sit at His feet and absorb the love He brings for us.

It is important to keep an orderly home and to teach our children that importance.  Associate Professor Shirley R. Klein remarked, "Everyday activities in our homes may be simple, but because they are simple, frequent, and repeated, they offer important opportunities to build individuals and families." So where do we find the balance?  I've often been told that a home where children are loved is a home well-lived in.  In other words, there are going to be toys on the floor.  The dishes may not always be done and the beds may not always be made.  Is this the sign of a sloppy lazy family?  Not necessarily.

Look around a little further.  Is there children's artwork hanging on the refrigerator?  Are the little ones playing together while their parents help older siblings with homework?  Have the children been taught by example that there is a time and place for controlled chaos as well as for quiet and order?  Or, are the children's toys under lock and key for fear of appearing less than perfect to the visiting teachers?  Are the floors shining and the windows gleaming in the middle of the day even though the children are bored and begging for attention and love?  The Saviour will recognize our best intentions.  We need to determine whether or not our best intentions will have been enough on that great and glorious day.

Had I been brilliant enough to spout out all that to the class on Sunday, I'd either have received oodles of hallway compliments after class or been quickly released from my calling.  Either way, it has left me thinking more deeply.  Obviously the state of our earthly home is not going to be what keeps us from being embraced by the Saviour.  That will be determined by the state of our hearts in the moment He arrives. Our work until then is to strive towards living in a "house of order."

So let me ask these questions to the class:  If the Saviour came today could He dwell within your heart?  Would  the clutter and distraction make you unable to recognize the lightness of your burdens being lifted?  Is the balance between your devotion to the Lord and Jesus Christ weighted with things of this world or divine desires of the soul?

When He stands outside and knocks will you hear His voice and let Him enter in or will the rush to clean up the house keep you from opening the door? 

Thursday, February 17, 2011

In My Heart On Thursday

"My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance, and in inverse proportion to my expectation."


-Michael J. Fox,  A Funny Thing Happened On the Way To the Future

Monday, February 14, 2011

To Be Loved

I had the privilege to attend a talk by Elvin R. Tanner last week.  He is an accomplished psychologist and professor.  He and his wife live in my church ward and are such a great example.  Married more than 50 years, they still dote over each other and can count the number of arguments they've had on one hand.  The topic of the talk was love.  Any lecture with such generic subject matter has the possibility of being very bland, but my heart was touched.  The Lord gently reproved me for laziness in my most important relationships and encouraged me through expert advice to wake on a new day and share my love in the way He shares His love with me every day.

"Do you know how hard it is to love a porcupine?"

Think about that for a moment.  Originally the question was asked by a mother to her contentious teenage daughter (thanks, Emily, for sharing).  Tired of hearing her daughter proclaim, "You don't love me!", the mother decided to pull her aside and explain this very simple life lesson.  It changed their relationship tremendously.

Are teenagers the only prickly people on the planet?  Definitely not.  It is humbling to think of how I would hate to be greeted at the end of a work day by a grumbling spouse or harangued with a "honey-do" list a mile long and an equal amount of criticism to go along with it.  How would I react if every time I tried to get attention, the people most important in my life brushed me off with an abrupt, "I'm busy right now," or "I don't have time."  

"If you would be loved, love and be lovable." -Benjamin Franklin

Do you know a person without the desire to be loved?  Of course not.  But, how many people do you know who are completely content in all of their relationships?  There are some out there, and what a delight they are to know and learn from; their countenances truly shine.   I fear, however, that there are far more people out there in a situation similar to mine.  Quick to point out faults and pick apart weaknesses.  We're not a world full of Peggy Bundy bon-bon eaters, but we do spend too much effort wondering why our friends don't reach out to us more often and why our family members are distant.  

We need to pour out sincere, unselfish love on a daily basis.  It needs to become a habit in our everyday lives.  Learn what makes your husband smile and do it.  Pay attention to your child's latest passion, learn about it, and engage them.  Smile when your loved ones are around and surprise them with unexpected praise.  Maybe it's become a habit to complain with friends about everything wrong in the world.  Next time you get together, spread compliments around on what wonderful women they are.  Or, better yet, pay attention to their normal complaints and troubles. I guarantee we're missing out on ample opportunities for service and love when we spend our days only focusing on what we want and what we're missing. 

"You selected him."

A recent study concluded that women are stressed because their husbands are ugly. They determined that while courting and as newlyweds, we are blinded to a person's look by the good things they do and love they pour out upon us.  Over the years, as the courting ends we're left with the less-than-attractive facade covering a realistically attractive inner being.  My husband and I have gotten a fair share of joking out of these findings, but there is real inspiration in it.  In most cases the person we wed on our wedding day is the same person we were married to the next day and the same person we are still married to today.  Our rose-colored glasses may be fading enough to allow us to see some of their shortcomings, but those have probably existed from day one and they may have even been endearing way back then.  

My point is, he's the person you chose to fall in love with.  I'm not implying that the world is inhabited by women who hate the man their married to, but we do, as whole, tend to be a little critical.  We knit-pick and nag.  I'm suggesting that the next time we feel the fleeting urge to complain again about the dirty socks on the floor or argue about who should change the oil in the car, that we should stand back and sneak a look at the man standing before us.  I hope the person we allow ourselves to see standing before us is the man and the tender spirit we chose to love all those years ago.

"Love is a spiritual attitude. As you love God, love your mate."

Love is a gift from God.  He has given it to us asking little in return.  To spread it amongst the people we meet.  To make the world a better place by sharing love with others.  To remember Him and all we have been given.  

This was my "ah-ha" moment while listening to this lecture on love.  My Heavenly Father has given me more love than I deserve and continues to pour it out upon me.  His Son made the sacrifice to come to the Earth and leave a followable example of how to administer love perfectly.  There is not a chance that my earthly relationships will flourish if I am not fully cultivating my spiritual relationship with they who embody the essence of love.  As I become closer to them, pray to them, and seek for guidance, I will discover greater strength and desire to spread love to the people in my home, my community, and the world.  The more I study the creators of love, the more I will understand the way it works and the good it can do.  I will be more accepting of myself, more genuine to my friends, more serving to my family.  

My desire on this Valentine's Day is that we, as women, will have the desire to find love within ourselves.  Love who we are.  Love the people we have chosen and have been given.  Love people who haven't asked for love.  And love the One who has given us the opportunity.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

In My Heart On Thursday

Taking a break from thoughtful quotes today-my computer exploded and the new won't arrive until Friday, but all is not a terrible mess! 

While sitting in the basement of the library, surrounded by noisy high schoolers, and checking my email on the public computer, I've discovered that Clean Sheets On Sunday has gifted me the Versatile Blogger Award!


What an uplifting way to end my week!  Now it's my turn to send a blogging smile along it's way...I'm excited to pass this award on to the blogs listed below.  Make sure you check them out!






Promise I'll have something interesting to say as soon as the UPS man makes his delivery!

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

In My Heart On Thursday

"I will not fail you, my love.  I will continue on the path we shared, and I know you will be there to help me, as you always were.  And when we meet again at the journey's end, and we laugh together once more, I will have a thousand things to tell you."

-Noor Al Hussein, Leap of Faith; Memoirs of an Unexpected Life