It's All in What You Do

Everyone of us has a decision to make upon waking each morning. Our sequence of daily choices works as a conveyor belt moving us ever closer to the idealized person we can see in our dreams. My question today is whether or not people's perceptions of us reflect that person we want to be. Several events over the past few days have led me to take an inward look at my daily interactions with friends and family and re-evaluate the choices I consistently make. More accurately, in my case, to re-evaluate the choices I avoid making by keeping quiet and avoiding confrontation. Sunday afternoon I was excited to attend the final session of the Draper Temple dedication. As I sat with two other people I tried to focus on the beautiful photography being shown and music being played. I wanted to feel the sacredness of the moment and feel the peace that only the temple can bring. However, it wasn't long before I found myself drawn into the conversation going on beside me. We laughed and enjoyed each other's company (which is also appropriate and important in the temple) but the conversation too often focused on the shortcomings of another person we know. Although our thoughts were shared with love and understanding of that person's situation, our hearts too keenly desired to release the frustration we had been feeling. This conversation continued for nearly two hours outside in the car after the dedication had ended. Last night Ben and I watched a news program on ABC called What Would You Do? We were appalled as scenarios were set up and unsuspecting people unquestioningly did whatever it was they were asked to do. We watched a middle-aged lady put drugs in some body's soda and customers ignore a blatant discrimination attack. The most unbelievable sketch, though, was watching person after person steal a baby from a grocery store because a stranger with a badge had asked them for their help. We were appalled and asking, "Who would do that? Who wouldn't think it was strange for a cop to be asking a complete stranger at the last minute to do that?" The final situation that tied these all together came in a phone conversation this morning. I was taken off guard by a comment that was made and quickly took the comfortable road of mumbling evasive agreements like, "Oh," and "Huh." Not really adding to the conversation and the opinion, but not detracting from it either. That's the way I did or would have dealt with all three of these situations. In the first and the third I had every opportunity to speak up and share my feelings that the conversation was not appropriate or that the opinions could be very hurtful, especially being conveyed in such a way. The gravity of my passive behaviour, though, only really came to light as I thought about the show and the kidnapped baby. Of course I would not have any part of a situation like the one portrayed and so I was feeling pretty good about myself for that. Just like avoiding a beggar, I would have diverted my eyes and hurried along my way. Then Ben asked, "Why aren't any of them immediately calling the police to say a weirdo is outside the grocery store trying to steal a baby?" That thought had never crossed my mind (or his until that moment). Assuming the situation were real, I would have been as much at fault for the tragic outcome merely by not doing anything. Is any of this ringing true in anyone else's ears? Maybe not this exact character weakness, but something you know you do that is contradictory to the person you want to be? Thinking about it has already helped me and I feel more at ease with myself because of it. After hanging up this morning, I called two people who really know me and expressed to them the way I was feeling. Then, with their encouraging words, I followed up with a response I could feel good about. One that I hope showed I wasn't taking sides or looking poorly upon that person, but that showed I understood the concerns of both parties involved and hoped it could be addressed without me being in the middle. That's a big step for me and I hope tomorrow I wake up able to build on that step. My hope for every person I know and love is that they are able to find themselves doing the same. What is the thing you can do today that will enable you to wake up tomorrow one step closer to that person you dream to be?

I LOVE free stuff! And I LOVE handmade gifts, so taking a cue from Annie's blog here it is: I hereby commit to offer the first five individuals to comment on this post a homemade gift of my choosing; Be sure to be one of the first five people to respond to this post. In order to post a comment, you have to first post this on your own blog and agree to do the same for another five people (So maybe a lot of people reading my blog don't have their own, but agree to the second part and I'll hold up on my end of the deal). You in turn have the opportunity to be the recipient of a fun homemade gift from me. There are of course some restrictions: 1. I make no guarantees that you will like what I make or that I will like the way it turns out. 2. What I create will be just for you (Kathy & Kimberly-I may reserve the right to consider responses from you actually from your unborn babies...) 3. This thing will be completed sometime this year. 4. You have no clue what it will be and I'm pretty sure I don't either. 5. I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.

A Lot of Thinking

How far back do your actions set you? This question popped into my head during church a few weeks ago and at the time I had a very specific incident in mind between Ben and my brothers-in-law. I wanted him to realize that simple decisions like which movie to watch or which television show to quote may speak volumes louder than his most genuine example of standing uprightly. Sitting through the rest of church other events ran through my mind:

• Raising your voice at a child when you're trying to teach him to use his indoor voice or the proper way to deal with anger
• Gossiping to a person with whom you've worked hard to build trust
• Slacking at your job or
• Breaking your word by neglecting a commitment or responsibility

Surprisingly, while thinking of these different situations I didn't allow myself to feel down about myself or the things that I am doing. I recognize that I'm human and sometimes do things I later wish I hadn't. Every one of us does. Knowing and admitting this can help us be more aware of how what we're doing and saying may be perceived. Believe it! We have the ability to change our own course of action and determine whether we will be better people one day. The longer I pondered this whole idea, the more I was reminded of another thought I had a few months ago around election time. Trying to reconcile the nation's choice with my own concerns and worries, I wondered, "What do you do after you've done all you can do?" The answer, of course, is get out of bed every morning, try to make the people around you smile, and try your best to stand strong for what you believe. Reflecting on these two questions together can help us find enlightenment. Most of us are good people trying hard to do good things every day. We want our children to feel protected and loved while they learn and grow. We want our friends and family to smile when they think of us and our co-workers to strive to work harder beside us. We make mistakes, but when we're humble enough to see the damage that's been done, we'll find the strength to try again the next day. If we can wake up and realize that yesterday was actually a pretty good day, then the foundation has been laid and the mistakes we make tomorrow may be a little bit smaller than the ones we make today. Building day by day and one mis-step at a time, we'll make it where we're trying to go and hopefully we'll made a positive impression along the way.

For His Future

Dear Baby Beck,

You are 1-1/2 years old now and today was your first Presidential Inauguration Day. After two long years of political campaigning and an historical election we watched today as Barack Hussein Obama took the oath of office and became the 44th President of the United States of America.

I know that you are going to learn in school all the reasons and ways this day was epic and precedent-breaking. Our nation has a deep history reaching back hundreds of years. Our countrymen have shown themselves to be humble and brave while standing up for each other and forming a new union, as well as prideful and afraid while denying fellow human beings the right to live freely in that union. Hopefully now we can finally say, "Today is a new day and when we awake to meet the day tomorrow may that be a new day, too."

Beck your dad and I want the absolute best for you. Already you are beautiful and intelligent. I know the world holds promise and hope for you. I pray the happiness and innocence I saw in you today may always lead and guide you. You dad got home from work early today and we watched the inaugural parade together as a family with you sitting curled up on his lap. You were so excited for all the music and the marching bands. It made us laugh as you shouted out "trombone" when each one passed (even though you have no reason to know the word "trombone" and we actually have no idea what you were repeatedly saying). With each passing parade entry the camera moved in for a close shot of President Obama waving at the crowd and you smiled, waved back, and shouted, "HI!"

I don't know, Beck, if you will ever shake the hand of the leader of these 50 states, but I do know he (and someday she) will always serve you to the best of his abilities. The world may decay and we may not escape unaffected, but we live in the United States of America and as long as we have a freely elected president, we will be free. We may not always agree with his policies and politics, but the Lord has promised great blessings on this nation if its people will live righteously.

Beck, you are an American and there is nothing you can't do and nowhere you can't go if you have the faith to live righteously. As Americans we are charged with the responsibility to help our fellow citizens. As a child of God our privilege is so much more. Serve those around you. Let the light of love shine in your eyes. Embrace who you are and believe in who you can become. Trust that the Lord has a dream for you and your family and live each day trying to reach that dream. These are the things which will bring you happiness. The freedom to achieve that happiness makes this nation great.

Today's inauguration was only one of many historic national events you will witness in your lifetime. Try to experience each one of them, indeed each day, with the excitement and emotion you were surrounded with today.

Always know I love you. Your dad is setting next to me and tells me he loves you. Your grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins love you. Our prayer is for you to grow strong, embrace who you are, and serve the Heavenly Father who has placed you here in this country at this time on the earth. My comfort and strength is in knowing that every blessing of heaven is available to you. I feel blessed to have shared this important historical time with you and your daddy and am looking forward to many more!

With Love,

Mommy

A Year of Reading

Have you read any of these books from my 2008 Reading List? I'd love to know how you liked it. And if you're looking for a new escape, take a look and see if there's anything that might catch your fancy...

1 The Frontiersman-Daniel Boone's era about the invasion of the Indians. I loved it, my husband hated it. Some graphic battle descriptions.

2 Amish Grace: How Forgiveness Transcended Tragedy-About the Amish School Shooting. Interesting insight into the community.

3 The Mormon Way of Doing Business-As a Mormon housewife it was inspiring to see people in business who live their moral and religious values in every aspect of their life. Left me wishing I witnessed it more in my personal life.

4 Loving and Loathing Your Inner Housewife-Crude enough to shock me a little bit, (I should've guessed since the full title starts with To Hell with all That).

5 The Marketing of Evil-Purely propaganda. I was pained to get all the way through it.

6 The Year of Living Biblically-I love this author!!! Both his books I read this year were funny and interesting. I'm recommending them to everyone! This one was mostly about the Old Testament and he really did it while living in New York City. Very entertaining! 

7 Simplify, A guide to Caring for the Soul-Very good from a local author I met at an Enrichment meeting. A great self-improvement book meant to read and ponder one bit a time

8 Reading Lolita in Tehran-After all the hype this book got, I was expecting a lot more. It just didn't wow me. Maybe I missed all the political and women's right issues I was supposed to pick up on.

9 Eat pray love-Section 1 reminded me 100% of my friend Lori and I loved it. Section 2 was so foreign to me it was interesting. Section 3 had me begging her not to end it all by being immoral. 

10 The Know-It-All: One Man’s Humble Quest to Become the Smartest Person in the World-The second book from the author mentioned above. A little dry as he worked through the encyclopedia from A-Z, but still really interesting.

11 A War of Gifts, An Ender Story-Very fast read-good if you like the Ender series. 

12 Heyday-A great fiction read set in early New York and the west. 

13 Smile when you’re lying, confessions of a rogue travel writer-Grabbed me like almost all travel collections do, but honestly I didn't remember I had read it.

14 The Middle Place-A story of family illness, healing, and death. Uplifting and heartbreaking, but some of the chronology and geography was confusing.

15 Hungry Planet, What the World Eats-FASCINATING picture book of families around the world and what they eat in a week. 

16 Memo To the President Elect-by Madeleine Albright. Won't interest anybody who's not fixated on politics or Bill Clinton's presidency.

17 The Kite Runner-One of the best stories I read this year (with a little bit anticlimactic end). I hated the movie when I finally got around to watching it.

18 Material World, A Global Family Portrait-From the same photographer as the food book above and equally intriguing.

19 A Walk in the Woods-A satirical author with an Iowa connection. His experiences hiking the Appalachian trail and worth the read. 

20 Inside the Kingdom-Not deep writing, but a great insight into the Bin Laden family and the Arab culture. 

21 The Four Agreements-An Indian philosophy that clashed too much with the way I believe things. Not interesting at all. Skip it.

22 I’m a Stranger Here Myself-Written in New England before the Appalachian trail book mentioned above and also pretty funny.

23 Family Baggage-A really light read that I shouldn't have liked but I really really did. Love and travel wrapped up with oldsters and television actors. 

24 An Inconvenient Book-Written just like he speaks and I couldn't handle it. Glenn Beck is a great man with great ideas, but way too ADD for me to read.

25 Hitler’s Willing Executioners-This book is very scholarly and explains the psyche of people who went along with Hitler's plans. Too freaky for me to finish. 

26 Little Women-Who didn't love this story when they were little girls? It's still good, go ahead and read it again! 

27 Europe Through the Back Door: Italy-Full of secret information that really helped us along the way!

28 Anna Karenina-This is one of my all-time favorite books and one of the few books I've read more than once. I'm honest that it has some parts that really drag, but the end instantly wipes out all the drudgery. 

29 Rhett Butler’s People-Nothing spectacular, but good for the imagination if you liked Gone With the Wind. 

30 Shepherd of the Hills-The backwoods Missouri dialect was tough to read, but the suspense kept me turning the pages. 

31 One Hundred Years of Solitude-I didn't understand the overall message, but liked the story of family and trials. Set in South America, I couldn't get over the fact that I've read another story eerily like it and can't remember what it was. 

32 The Road-The only Oprah's Book Club book I'd ever read and the writing was exactly what I expected it to be (not great), but the end of this book made me cry for an hour and the message should really inspire anyone who knows they should be preparing for an emergency. 

33 The Portrait of a Lady-Incredible look into European society in the 1800's.

34 The Brothers Karamazov-I'm discovering that I love the old Russian authors. I didn't think this story ended as powerfully as it could have, but it was a great read (and Laura Bush's favorite book). 

35 The Secret Life of Bees-Fun to read because it had been recommended to me and I did like it. I'm still not convinced the end would have been realistic in real life. 

36 Bel Canto-A storyline about foreigners in a terrorist hostage situation was weird and I don't think it ever would have happened the way it did in the real world, but I loved it anyway. I wish there had been a different ending. 

37 Peace Like a River-The librarian told me it was an unusual story, but it didn't seem that strange to me. Family Tragedy, honesty, and independence made this book perfectably readable.

38 The Book of Mormon-It took me 18-months this time. Worth every minute!