H1N1: Part 1 (Not written well, but written nonetheless)

The past month has been a confusing and sometimes stressful time of debating, studying, and praying about whether or not to get the H1N1 flu vaccine that the government and health professionals are so aggressively urging the American people to receive as soon as possible. My biggest hesitation came from the extremely short amount of time the vaccine had been in testing before being produced and shipped out to the public. There is no long-term data available for review that would assuredly and factually guarantee the safety of receiving a vaccination. It has been understandable that the authorities are confident that this inoculation will be no different than other flu vaccines, yet I wanted to feel sure I wouldn't later regret giving it to Beck. I also wanted assuring evidence on how the baby would be affected by me getting the injection. Obviously, a brand new vaccine being given right now is not going to be able to provide information on babies that have not yet been born.

Through various outlets, I tried to weed through the fear-based information and also tried to keep a wide-eye while digesting the uber-positive/vague information available from government agencies. Combining my research all together, the answer to my prayers seemed to be that neither decision would be the right or wrong decision. That was not the sharp, quick answer I hoped would make deciding easy.

Considering the small amount of time Beck & I spend out in public surrounded by other kids, I felt it might be easier to get vigilant about washing our hands and disinfecting our door knobs. Nursery on Sundays was my biggest concern, followed by how I would survive an entire winter without being able to take Beck to the playground to play. Basically I had decided to rely on being able to avoid the flu. Then, this past Sunday an announcement was made that an entire family in the ward already had the swine flu!

For me, the decision whether or not to get vaccinated finally came down to this: I realized there was very little chance we would avoid all chance encounters with people who were sick this winter. The idea of dealing with an illness that could have been prevented with a fairly basic shot seemed senseless and the realization that with the vaccine I could much more confidently let Beck play with other kids was the final piece in my drawn out puzzle.

Interestingly enough, my final decision process coincided with a new supply of the H1N1 vaccine becoming available in Utah County. I went to bed Monday night aware that a mass vaccination clinic was being held Tuesday morning but figured I would still wait for the vaccine to become more readily available before dragging Beck out to find it. It was a complete surprise to me, then, when I decided at 8:00am that Beck and I were going to go stand in line with the rest of the population for our turn at a poke in the arm. I was listening to the radio and noticing that the predicted snowstorm had not yet made it to us. Literally, I jumped out of bed, threw clothes on myself and Beck and ran out the door without stopping to think.

The "without stopping to think" part is important. After all the efforts I'd made in coming to an education decision, a few more minutes of thinking may have been useful throughout the rest of the day. Stay tuned for H1N1: Part 2 (the mass clinic experience was intriguing...).

Bringing the Spirit Into Our Home

Talk given Sunday, May 31, 2009 When Beck was born he brought with him the spirit of heaven and looking at him Ben and I were able to gain a strong testimony of the Father's love for us and His plan of salvation. For months our home was filled with love and the spirit that was exuding from our precious little boy. Since then we have fallen back into the habit of not always noticing the special feelings that come along with living gospel-centered lives. The Proclamation on the Family states,

"Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ." The principles necessary for happiness include prayer, forgiveness, and love to be taught and practiced in the home regularly. President Ezra Taft Benson said, "One great thing the Lord requires of each of us is to provide a home where a happy, positive influence for good exists. In future years the costliness of home furnishings or the number of bathrooms will not matter much...It will greatly matter whether there was happiness and laughter, or bickering and contention." Let's first focus on the importance of creating routine and consistency with the gospel in our homes. Whether your family is a star-example of daily individual and family scripture study and prayer or your family is more like ours where it's a daily struggle to accomplish just one thing that invites the spirit, the things we do need to be so regular that everyone in the family can recognize the spirit received from the actions. I can share a couple personal examples. Years before I had any interest in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints I would visit at the homes of friends who were church members. On many occasions I would be asked to join the family in their mealtime or nightly prayers. Though most of the time I would politely say no, the spirit in their homes spoke to me while I listened from another room. The family gathered together and recounted the things they were grateful or remembered people with special needs. It was quickly obvious to me the homes in which this was an important nightly ritual and the homes that were going through the motions to try and impress their guest. In Ben's parents' home the spirit is almost always strongly felt. They raised 15 children strong in the gospel and when the family gets together it's almost always a time of laughter and happiness. We gather together regularly for what we call "Sing Thing" to sing hymns and other silly songs as well as read the scriptures and share a family prayer. I've always felt comfortable there and have seen numerous non-members feel right at home as they've joined over the years. In contrast, shortly before my baptism several of my sisters had traveled to Utah during spring break. Ben's parents were excited to meet them and invited us all over for dinner. After dinner we gathered in the living room, but instead of the usual round of singing and stories, Ben's parents had decided to play a church video and have a short religious discussion. Though their intentions were extremely good, it was not something that happened in their home consistently and it felt quite obvious that the spirit was being forced rather than laying itself peacefully upon the hearts in the room. This was not the way the Spirit was normally invited into the Hiatt home and in that particular instance it reached the opposite effect to the one which had been desired. Trying to consistently teach Beck to say his prayers and read his scriptures has given us an additional blessing outside our home. When we travel to my parents home the spirit gently encourages us to do those things we regularly do at home. We invite anyone who is there to join in saying Beck's nightly prayers and so far they have never said no. In the gospel we are taught the importance of knowledge and learning. In my life right now, as a stay-at-home mom, I have the opportunity to witness learning in a special way. This leads me to second idea we should focus on. We need to take time to recognize and appreciate how the Spirit is in our homes each day. Beck is two-years-old and gaining new skills in every waking moment-New words, new songs, how to carry on conversations with his stuffed animals and how to get them to talk back, how to fix a toy that's broken and how to play by himself or get mama's attention when playing alone isn't fun anymore. It's too easy for me to get busy on the computer or reading a book or doing housework and miss everything he is learning. I have found one of the quickest ways to bring peace into my environment and a smile to my face is to just stop whatever I'm doing and watch him from a distance. It reminds me that even though his body is young and fragile, his spirit is strong and growing. Those small quiet moments while I'm watching him and smiling reassure me that feels and also contributes to the spirit that is in our home and he is receiving the blessings that come with it. I want to quickly mention another way we can be sure to notice and appreciate the spirit in our homes. At night after Beck is in bed and the sun has gone down Ben and I like to set out on the front step and lye in bed and look at the moon. Setting in the quiet, watching a breeze in the trees, and listening to the birds reminds us how small we are in the world. It helps us re-focus on the principles of the gospel which are so much more important than who's going to do the dishes or what's coming on tv. I'm grateful for the prompting to study this topic this week. While looking for ideas on lds.org I watched a video posted on the homepage. It was a clip of Henry B. Eyring at a recent church general conference. He was telling about a journal he has kept since the time his children were small. In it, at the end of each day, he records little things that happened during the day. He asks himself, "Have I seen the hand of God in my life today? Did God send a message that was just for me?" I'm going to try to add these two questions to the quiet time I have at the end of every day. I encourage you to do the same. Have I seen the hand of God in my life today? Did God send a message that was just for me?

Oh Boy

My house stinks! It has been nice in Utah lately so the windows can be wide open, but as soon as they're closed my nose thinks it's standing in a public swimming pool shower room. I've tried every air freshening technique on the earth and nothing has taken it away. Going out of my mind a few days ago, I asked Ben, "Do you think it smells in here? What do you think the smell is?" Without looking up from his book he replied, "It stinks like perfume and candles." I share this story not to start a fight with my husband, but to illustrate a topic that's recently been on my mind: how am I supposed to raise a boy. I grew up in a family with six girls and remember friends and relatives jovially laying on us a curse to have all boys when we were grown. So far the ratio of boys to girls in our up-and-coming generation is 4:2. To that we could send a curse back on all their heads! Raising Beck has been pretty easy thus far, but Ben is gone quite a bit and will be more so as we move into summer. I wonder what kind of impact that might have on Beck and whether there is anything I can do to counteract it. Also, I figured it was about time I start to figure out how this person we call a boy will think and develop differently than the little girls with which I'm much more familiar. I'm not looking to get caught up in the trends of the day or a bunch of scientific mumbo-jumbo, but do want a knowledge and better understanding of how Beck's brain is developing and what I can do as a parent to help him grow up confident and happy. Fortunately, I found a book titled The Wonder of Boys by Michael Gurian which so far has given me some insightful information. Reading first about the way an infant boy's brain develops differently than a girl's encouraged me to continue along with my questioning. Generally, the part of the brain connecting the two sides of the brain has far fewer/slower connectors in young boys than in young girls. Having more connectors helps girls to multi-task while the development of the connectors in a boy's brain later manifest themselves in a singularly task-oriented approach to work and activities. More simply put, boys will tend to complete one project or thought before moving onto the next, while girls are working on several different ideas at a time. I know I see that difference between myself and Ben, and so it was interesting to understand the reasoning behind it. The next information I found intriguing in the book actually quite surprised me. Not because I don't believe it's true, but because it's not a topic the mainstream media emphasizes anymore. Mr. Gurian stressed the need to use strong men in the Bible, Koran, and other scriptures as role models for our sons. We teach our kids the great stories from the scriptures, but I'm intrigued by the idea of really using the men in those stories as guides and examples of who they can become. If we're faith-believing people, then we believe Moses, Noah, Nephi, or Alma were living breathing people to be studied and looked up to for their strengths and their weaknesses. Boys need those examples to emulate as they learn to make choices of their own. A particular stress has been made in what I've read so far for boys to have a large group of people surrounding them as they learn and grow. This will be the part that is hardest for me. I'm private and independent and I've known from the day Beck was born that branching out would be difficult for me. I'm extremely fortunate, in that regard, to have Ben's family so close and so outreaching. The number of cousins for Beck to watch and learn from is an initial blessing, but his uncles are outwardly loving and active and a little crazy and create an additional comfort to me. I'm grateful as I look forward, as well, for programs in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that place a focus on raising healthy and happy boys. Without me having to step too far out of my comfort zone, those two communities will always be there to provide an additional support system. My little boy is growing. He's already two! Having a question in my head on how to raise him and then starting to research that question has assured me that I'm doing okay. I know that I need to play with him more when Ben's away and when Ben's home I need to let the two of them rough-house until they cry. I know that one day Beck won't want as many hugs from me and won't be so cute smelling candles with me while we're shopping. But he is going to grow up loving me and that already means everything.

It's All in What You Do

Everyone of us has a decision to make upon waking each morning. Our sequence of daily choices works as a conveyor belt moving us ever closer to the idealized person we can see in our dreams. My question today is whether or not people's perceptions of us reflect that person we want to be. Several events over the past few days have led me to take an inward look at my daily interactions with friends and family and re-evaluate the choices I consistently make. More accurately, in my case, to re-evaluate the choices I avoid making by keeping quiet and avoiding confrontation. Sunday afternoon I was excited to attend the final session of the Draper Temple dedication. As I sat with two other people I tried to focus on the beautiful photography being shown and music being played. I wanted to feel the sacredness of the moment and feel the peace that only the temple can bring. However, it wasn't long before I found myself drawn into the conversation going on beside me. We laughed and enjoyed each other's company (which is also appropriate and important in the temple) but the conversation too often focused on the shortcomings of another person we know. Although our thoughts were shared with love and understanding of that person's situation, our hearts too keenly desired to release the frustration we had been feeling. This conversation continued for nearly two hours outside in the car after the dedication had ended. Last night Ben and I watched a news program on ABC called What Would You Do? We were appalled as scenarios were set up and unsuspecting people unquestioningly did whatever it was they were asked to do. We watched a middle-aged lady put drugs in some body's soda and customers ignore a blatant discrimination attack. The most unbelievable sketch, though, was watching person after person steal a baby from a grocery store because a stranger with a badge had asked them for their help. We were appalled and asking, "Who would do that? Who wouldn't think it was strange for a cop to be asking a complete stranger at the last minute to do that?" The final situation that tied these all together came in a phone conversation this morning. I was taken off guard by a comment that was made and quickly took the comfortable road of mumbling evasive agreements like, "Oh," and "Huh." Not really adding to the conversation and the opinion, but not detracting from it either. That's the way I did or would have dealt with all three of these situations. In the first and the third I had every opportunity to speak up and share my feelings that the conversation was not appropriate or that the opinions could be very hurtful, especially being conveyed in such a way. The gravity of my passive behaviour, though, only really came to light as I thought about the show and the kidnapped baby. Of course I would not have any part of a situation like the one portrayed and so I was feeling pretty good about myself for that. Just like avoiding a beggar, I would have diverted my eyes and hurried along my way. Then Ben asked, "Why aren't any of them immediately calling the police to say a weirdo is outside the grocery store trying to steal a baby?" That thought had never crossed my mind (or his until that moment). Assuming the situation were real, I would have been as much at fault for the tragic outcome merely by not doing anything. Is any of this ringing true in anyone else's ears? Maybe not this exact character weakness, but something you know you do that is contradictory to the person you want to be? Thinking about it has already helped me and I feel more at ease with myself because of it. After hanging up this morning, I called two people who really know me and expressed to them the way I was feeling. Then, with their encouraging words, I followed up with a response I could feel good about. One that I hope showed I wasn't taking sides or looking poorly upon that person, but that showed I understood the concerns of both parties involved and hoped it could be addressed without me being in the middle. That's a big step for me and I hope tomorrow I wake up able to build on that step. My hope for every person I know and love is that they are able to find themselves doing the same. What is the thing you can do today that will enable you to wake up tomorrow one step closer to that person you dream to be?

I LOVE free stuff! And I LOVE handmade gifts, so taking a cue from Annie's blog here it is: I hereby commit to offer the first five individuals to comment on this post a homemade gift of my choosing; Be sure to be one of the first five people to respond to this post. In order to post a comment, you have to first post this on your own blog and agree to do the same for another five people (So maybe a lot of people reading my blog don't have their own, but agree to the second part and I'll hold up on my end of the deal). You in turn have the opportunity to be the recipient of a fun homemade gift from me. There are of course some restrictions: 1. I make no guarantees that you will like what I make or that I will like the way it turns out. 2. What I create will be just for you (Kathy & Kimberly-I may reserve the right to consider responses from you actually from your unborn babies...) 3. This thing will be completed sometime this year. 4. You have no clue what it will be and I'm pretty sure I don't either. 5. I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.